


Journey

by Chameleon777



Series: Inner Loss [5]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Cardassian Culture, Dubious Ethics, F/M, Family, Family Secrets, Lies, Love, M/M, Major Illness, Medical Experimentation, Medical Trauma, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Cardassia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Promises, Psychological Trauma, Rape Aftermath, Recovery, Unethical Experimentation, Unethical Medicine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:13:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29194368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chameleon777/pseuds/Chameleon777
Summary: With justice not on their side and mercy seemingly out of reach, the Bashir-Garak family and all they hold dear to their hearts begin a journey into an uncertain future.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien
Series: Inner Loss [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879732
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Secrecy

**Bashir Residence – Outskirts of Wellington, New Zealand**

The days continued on and New Zealand gradually became warmer, as did Julian's responses to life and his family. Because of the medication, he was able to feel and enjoy his family once again, but he didn’t particularly enjoy being on Earth. Once again, it had become a prison that he yearned to escape. He _yearned_ to leave it behind.

So why didn’t he? Why didn’t he just accept Starfleet’s offer of a quiet dismissal and leave again? The question was always at the forefront of his mind every morning when he woke early and went outside to walk up and down his parents stretch of beach before breakfast and family time took over his day.

It was the same that morning and Julian found himself staring up at the sky that day, desperate to leave and knowing full well why he didn’t. His parents, for one, seemed comfortable there and he didn’t want to make them go without him after they had learned to live peacefully with each other and Dax was also a very big reason why he was still there. Dax was still dependent on the neonatal chamber to survive.

The sound of engines suddenly prompted Julian to look down from the sky just in time to see a shuttle land just inside the property line. He slowly made his way over to the shuttle, surprised when the boarding ramp came down and Jake came off the shuttle. The two eyed each other silently.

“Julian, Starfleet’s working to dismiss the charges against Admiral Ross and I wanted to know your thoughts on it before I ran the story,” Jake explained quietly, frowning. “I…I _should have_ called.”

Julian sighed, “It’s _fine_ , Jake,” he replied softly. “Besides that, how are things in San Francisco?”

“Starfleet’s _mad_ because the talks between them and the Cardassians didn’t go well, but nobody’s really talking about it out in the open,” Jake explained quietly. “The Council’s also _upset_ because _someone_ countermanded the order for Chief O’Brien to go to the penal colony in New Zealand and he’s currently in the hospital on a mental health hold awaiting an assessment to see if the colony’s a good fit…”

Julian’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything even though he wondered if _Garak_ had hacked into the Federation database to help Miles, “…Anyway, Keiko put me on his family visitors list and Miles keeps asking about you and Dax,” Jake was saying anxiously. “He thinks Dax is _dead_ and you’re _sick_.”

“Is that why you _really_ came?” Julian asked softly, giving Jake a knowing look. “Not for a story?”

Jake sighed anxiously, “Well, I can tell you that Dax is very much _alive_ and that I’m very much dependent on medication and weak, but not sick,” Julian replied in a tired voice. “Would you like to _see_ Dax?”

“I…I don’t want to disturb anyone,” Jake spoke in a reluctant voice. “I can take your word for it.”

Julian paused and Jake exhaled anxiously, “Julian, people are wondering why you’re still _here_ , to be honest,” Jake confessed anxiously, frowning. “I’ve heard _rumors_ that you’re in Section 31 and that the whole thing was your _cover_. That’s _why_ Admiral Ross got off, they’re saying…”

Taken aback, Julian glared at Jake, “ _Come inside_ ,” he spoke sharply. “I want to show you something.”

Jake’s eyes widened, but he followed Julian into the house and frowned when they went into a small bedroom where Ricky was asleep, “Dax is in here,” Julian explained, showing the neonatal chamber.

Jake peered in the chamber and felt relief when he saw Dax alive, but asleep inside the chamber, “From what I heard, Starfleet’s sending Admiral Ross back into space right away and is ordering him to stay away from you permanently or he’ll be charged again,” he explained, studying the baby. “Dax is _cute_.”

“ _Rumors_ are just _that_ Jake,” Julian responded softly, a sigh in his voice. “I haven’t actually decided _what_ I’m going to do yet and Starfleet _cannot_ officially release Admiral Ross from the charges until I do.”

Jake stared at him, his expression confused, but Julian’s attention was on Dax, “I’ve been taken off continued supervision since that meeting happened,” Julian explained. “Doctor Grayson-Dramok is currently staying in San Francisco for personal reasons and the Castellan, Officer Marratt, and Doctor Dastra are staying in town as _guests_ of the Federation, but we all do keep in touch.”

A concerned expression crossed Jake’s face, “Is it just me or is that _odd_?” he asked softly. “Admiral…”

“ _Incoming call from San Francisco_ ,” an automated voice suddenly spoke. “ _Incoming call_ …”

Julian sighed and quickly went to the comms terminal, frowning when he answered it and saw Castellan Dramok, “ _Doctor Bashir, is your husband awake_?” Castellan Dramok asked softly, his expression serious.

“No, but I can wake him,” Julian replied in a tired voice. “Castellan, if this is about my decision…”

Castellan Dramok sighed, “ _Doctor, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but Starfleet’s investigating a possible security breach,_ ” he explained firmly. “ _Miles O’Brien was set to be sent to the penal colony, but those orders were changed and nobody can figure out who did it. Some seem to think it was Legate Garak, as he used to be a part of the Obsidian Order and did a lot of communications work during the war.”_

Julian scoffed, “Elim’s been too busy looking after me, Ricky, and Dax to have time to hack any Starfleet databases,” he replied coldly, frowning. “They’re saying all this even _after_ he’s been translating…?”

“Rumors have been flying everywhere and I’m very unhappy about all of them, but I _did_ tell Starfleet I would ask,” Castellan Dramok spoke with a sigh. “Mary says that Dax is still in the neonatal chamber…”

Julian nodded, “ _Yes_ and I _don’t_ know when he’ll be well enough to be out of it,” he replied sadly.

“ _Once he is well enough to live without it, perhaps it would be wise to return to Cardassia_ ,” Castellan Dramok stated in a quiet, but firm voice. “ _Let Starfleet have their rumors and you can have your life_.”

Julian stayed quiet and Castellan Dramok looked at Jake questioningly, “ _I would like to meet with you in town, Young Sisko_ ,” Castellan Dramok spoke calmly. “ _Will you come meet me in town right away?”_

Jake nodded, suspecting that the Castellan wanted to ask him about what Starfleet had been saying since the meeting between Cardassia and Starfleet had gone badly, “ _Good_ ,” Castellan Dramok said.

The screen went black and Julian looked at Jake, deeply worried, “Be _careful_ ,” he said softly.

“I’d save that advice for you and Garak,” Jake replied softly. “Especially because of _this_.”

Sighing, Julian followed Jake to the front door and watched him go before he made his way to the bedroom that he and Elim shared. The Cardassian was sound asleep in bed while a stack of PADD’s and the translation headset sat on the table next to his side of the bed. He looked incredibly peaceful.

He _had_ to ask. As much as he didn’t want to…he _had_ to ask and learn the truth for himself.

At that moment, Julian lost his courage and found himself sitting in a chair by the door to simply wait for when Elim woke on his own. He _wouldn’t_ be angry if Elim _had_ done it, but Starfleet _certainly_ would be.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Starfleet Medical – San Francisco, California**

_I never knew how unwell I actually was until I actually started getting rest in a place that wasn’t secured by a forcefield_. Miles thought silently as he lay awake on his bed, silently filling out one of many questionnaires that Starfleet Medical had sent as part of the assessment he was being ordered to do.

It had only been a few days since he had been put on a psychiatric hold and released from the confines of Starfleet Security, but Miles was very grateful for the time he had been given. The time on Deep Space Nine and the time in the war had changed him and he hadn’t been given time to really reflect on any of it because life had kept happening. Now that he was in a secure place that wasn’t a jail and he wasn’t burdened with responsibility or the demand to be perfect, he had a chance to reflect.

“Miles? I brought you something to eat and things to do,” a gentle voice suddenly spoke.

Miles looked up from the tablet holding his questionnaire and was relieved to see that Keiko was standing there with a bag that bore a stamp of approval from Starfleet Security. He set the tablet on the portable table and sat up so that Keiko could sit on the bed, which she did without hesitation.

“It’s good to see you, Keiko,” Miles spoke softly, sighing. “I’m _actually_ feeling a bit better today.”

Keiko nodded, “During the search of the stuff I was bringing you, Starfleet asked me yet again if I had any idea who changed your orders,” she replied irritably. “I told them I didn’t know and they also asked me about _Garak_ and I told them I didn’t know. I haven’t seen Garak in a long time. Why would they…?”

“Do you really think _Garak_ was the one who got me put in here instead of in the penal colony?” Miles asked in a quizzical voice, frowning at his wife. “Maybe I should ask Jake to look into it…”

Keiko sighed, “Jake flew over to visit Julian because he knew you were worried about him and Dax,” she explained in a quiet voice. “He knows you didn’t ask him to, but he did it because he was _worried_ about how your health was affected by it. I _hate_ that Admiral Ross put such _nasty_ thoughts in your head.”

“But why would _Garak_ want to send me here and _help_ me after I used to hate and kill Cardassians?” Miles asked in a quiet voice, his expression confused. “That sort of thing doesn’t seem his style.”

Keiko looked thoughtful, “So you don’t hate them anymore?” she asked softly. “You said _used to_.

“I suppose I _don’t_ ,” Miles replied softly. “Deep Space Nine and the Dominion War _changed_ me.”

Keiko nodded, knowing that it was true, “Speaking of _changes_ , Miles, there is going to come a point where I’ll be needed _on Cardassia_ to help Garak oversee the Botanical Restoration Project,” she explained in a concerned voice, frowning at him. “I’m deciding whether or not to _resign_ from it.”

Miles frowned, “ _Resign_?” he asked softly. “Keiko, I’m probably going to end up in some sort of prison-type environment eventually and you can take the kids with you to Cardassia. From what I understood by previous meetings with Admiral Grayson, I could be in prison for _several years_ between the murder and the breach of probation. You and Garak have a chance to help make Cardassia beautiful again…”

“And what about _you_?” Keiko asked softly, frowning at him. “You’re going to need _support_.”

Miles sighed, “Non-violent offenders get family visits once a month _if_ they’re lucky, but I might not even get _that_ since I breached probation after _killing_ someone,” he replied in a distressed voice. “Keiko, _when_ you go, I want you to invite Captain Staveli with you so that you’ll have help with the kids. She’s been _so kind_ to watch Kirayoshi and Molly since I have to be here and when you have to work…”

“She might have to go to Cardassia anyway because she’s still subject to Cardassian law, but I suspect that Officer Marratt is sweet on her,” Keiko said, smiling before a frown filled her face. “Miles, you’re my _husband_ and I _promised_ to stand by your side for better or for worse. I can _always_ find _other_ work… _oh_.”

Tears filled Miles’s eyes and Keiko silently embraced Miles, not caring that he was getting tears all over her clothes, “Why don’t we have the food in the atrium today where you can get some sun?” Keiko asked softly after they pulled apart. “You’re allowed to go there and the cafeteria, right?”

“As long as it’s not during quiet hours,” Miles replied softly, sighing as he stood up. “All right.”

Keiko collected the bag and Miles’s hand and they walked together in silence to the nearby atrium, not speaking until they were settled on a couch near a window where the sun could shine on them. Keiko unpacked the food, which turned out to be some healthy chicken stir-fry, vegetable rolls, and smoothies that she had gotten from a place downtown, and Miles gratefully ate it without complaint even though it was healthy because it was better than the simple, lifeless food he got in jail or as a hospital patient.

“Whatever I do about the project, Miles, I think we _should_ talk about your future with Starfleet,” Keiko spoke in a quiet voice after they had finished their meals. “I _don’t_ like what it’s done to you.”

Miles sighed, a sad expression on his face because he knew his wife was right and he _hated_ to admit it, but he felt like Captain Sisko had _abandoned_ him _and_ Julian after helping Julian escape death. Sisko’s words and Jake’s words had inspired Miles to make a choice and now Captain Sisko had been welcomed back into Starfleet’s fold without any consequences, but he and Julian had been hung out to dry. At least Jake was _mindful_ of the fact that he and Julian were struggling and was _trying_ to show that he cared.

“…Mary, I appreciate you taking the time to help me try this,” a familiar voice suddenly filled the air.

Miles looked towards the voice and was surprised to see Dr. Grayson-Dramok helping a tired looking Admiral Grayson, who was dressed in civilian clothes, into the atrium. Admiral Grayson was holding on to a drip-feed pole and she looked visibly tired, but she was also looking determined to fight.

“We are _family_ , Martha,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok spoke softly, sighing. “Do you want to sit in the sun?”

Admiral Grayson nodded and Miles watched as the Admiral was helped over to a seat near another window and helped to lie down comfortably, “Rest,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok said gently. “All right?”

Miles cleared his throat when Dr. Grayson-Dramok was in range and she promptly came over to the two of them, “Is everything okay?” he asked softly, frowning. “I couldn’t help but notice the Admiral…”

“I _wish_ I had access to the data that Admiral Ross and Doctor Girani gathered when they held Doctor Bashir-Garak captive,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok spoke softly. “Starfleet took it and gave the data to Garak to translate and he hasn’t given it back yet. I’d like to see if Martha’s illness is indeed similar to Julian’s.”

Miles frowned, “Admiral Ross told me Julian was _sick_ and Dax was _dead_ ,” he spoke softly.

“Well, I can tell you that Dax is _certainly not_ dead,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok replied firmly. “I haven’t seen Julian, however, since I came over here for the tour with the Castellan. I guess I need to visit the doctor again and see how he’s doing. Last I checked, he wasn’t well, but considering what he’s been through…”

Miles sighed and nodded, his expression subdued, “Did you hear that Starfleet’s accusing _Garak_ of hacking computers so I was put in here for an assessment instead of being sent to the penal colony?” he asked in a confused voice. “I _know_ Garak used to do some odd things, but you’d think after all he did for Starfleet during the war, they’d be more respectful to him. Besides, _why_ would he spring me from jail?”

A chime suddenly went off, indicating that it was officially 30 minutes until the hospital’s quiet time was due to kick in, “Oh, I guess visiting time will be over soon,” Miles spoke in an anxious voice. “If you’re _concerned_ about your sister’s illness and the data Starfleet gave Garak, why _don’t_ you go visit Julian and Garak and talk to them about all of this? You’re not in Starfleet anymore, so you can travel freely.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok looked thoughtful, “Anyway, I should get back to my room before the quiet time monitors start sweeping the place,” Miles spoke apologetically as he stood up. “Let’s go, Keiko.”

As Miles and Keiko left, they didn’t see that Admiral Grayson was laying awake and had heard every word of the conversation. She was stunned that Starfleet was now outright accusing _Garak_ of doing what she had done, but she didn’t know what she could do about it without starting more trouble.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Bashir Residence – Outskirts of Wellington, New Zealand**

By the time Elim woke for the day, Julian had finished breakfast, fed Ricky, fed Dax, and was now sitting in the backyard with Ricky and his parents planning the food garden for the season. Richard was sketching out what he wanted the crop setups to look like and Amsha was offering input on what food she wanted to grow while Julian sat in the grass with Ricky, a few simple books, and learning toys.

Elim got himself ready for the day, got himself a mug of raktajino, and wandered out into the yard in a reasonably pleasant mood because he had been allowed to get some actual rest. Julian’s expression, however, suddenly turned into one of concern upon seeing him and that made Elim feel worried.

“What’s got you all upset, my dear?” Elim asked softly, eyeing his husband. “It’s a lovely morning.”

Julian studied Elim briefly, silently debating whether or not to bring up the Castellan’s concerns at the moment or wait until later. Elim immediately knew something was wrong; he knew by Julian’s expression that something was wrong, “We _should_ find _time_ to talk _privately_ ,” Julian finally said softly.

Elim gave Julian a suspicious look, but nodded silently, “Ah, Elim, it’s good to finally see you awake!” Richard suddenly spoke up cheerfully, spotting Elim. “I’ve been sketching out the garden for the growing season and I was wondering if you had any ideas? I also need help from you and Julian today.”

Julian quickly turned his attention to Ricky, deeply relieved for the distraction from having to talk to Elim about what the Castellan had shared. Elim nodded and made himself comfortable at the picnic table where Julian’s parents were sitting to listen, but his mind was on what Julian was keeping from him.

“…Julian, Ricky’s clothes are _outgrowing_ him,” Amsha’s voice suddenly spoke. “He _needs_ new ones.”

Elim looked up and watched Amsha walk over to Julian, “I…I’m _not sure_ if I can still access my Federation credits,” Julian managed to say in a nervous voice, his eyes wide. “I never thought to check.”

“ _Julian_ , we _have_ money,” Amsha spoke reassuringly. “Let us spoil you, Elim, and our grandchildren.”

Elim’s eyes narrowed dangerously when Julian nodded without hesitation. He had never known Julian to give in so easily to any of his parents’ requests. He suddenly cleared his throat, his gaze fixed on Julian.

“My dear, might we talk inside for a moment?” Elim asked, rising from the table. “By ourselves?”

Nodding, Julian left Ricky to Amsha and got up, dusting himself off as he followed Elim into the house, “Julian, you’re _bothered_ by something,” Elim spoke quietly, sighing. “Can you just tell me what?”

Julian sighed, “The Castellan called me this morning while you were asleep and says that Starfleet asked him if you were the one who got Miles sent to Starfleet Medical for an assessment instead of to the penal colony,” he explained in a concerned voice, frowning. “I…Elim, _did_ you do it? Tell me the _truth_.”

Elim’s eyes widened in shock and he was silent for a long time before sighing, “Julian, I _can’t_ tell you very much at the moment because I don’t have my evidence verified, but what I _can_ tell you is that we are _not_ among friends here on Earth,” he spoke in a quiet, somber voice. “Once Dax is well enough to be out of the neonatal chamber, I think it’s best that we return to Cardassia _quickly_ and _very_ quietly.”

“So do you want me to accept Starfleet’s offer?” Julian asked softly, frowning at him. “Even despite…?”

Elim sighed, “I _don’t_ want you to do _anything_ just yet,” he replied quietly, moving close to Julian so he could talk even quieter. “Julian, _I love you with every fibre of my being_ and _I want you to be safe_.”

Before Julian could offer any reply, Elim silently captured him into a gentle kiss and held him there only briefly before releasing him and gently caressing his face and hair, “ _Trust me_ , my dear,” Elim whispered softly. “I _just_ want you to _trust me_.”

As much as Julian wanted to speak further, all he found himself able to do was nod silently with wide eyes because he was so spellbound by Elim’s soothing voice and gentle caresses.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Starfleet Compound - Wellington, New Zealand**

Castellan Marratt eyed Jake calmly as the young man sat at the table in the Castellan’s quarters with himself, Galen, and Officer Marratt after hurrying into town as quickly as possible. Jake felt nervous about meeting with such an important figurehead, but he trusted that nothing bad would happen. The Castellan’s quarters were _secure_ as was the Starfleet building they were in.

“Young Jake, I asked you to meet with me today because I need you and Officer Marratt to do a little favor for me,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a calm voice. “Starfleet has _official eyes_ on Doctor Dastra and I, so we can’t possibly leave Earth right now. You two, however, can leave and I want you to go to Deep Space Nine under the guise of visiting your father. Officer Marratt will be your protection and his cover story will be that it was the condition by which Starfleet allowed your release from custody.”

Jake frowned, “And _what_ are we looking for, Castellan?” he asked softly. “ _Anything in particular_?”

Castellan Dramok leaned in, “I want to know how _legitimate_ this investigation into the U.S.S. Monroe is and also if Captain Drammell was _really_ as sick as Starfleet _claimed_ he was when he was _allegedly held prisoner_ with Doctor Bashir-Garak,” he spoke in a low voice. “Legate Garak has been working on translating notes from when Doctor Bashir-Garak was held prisoner…”

Jake, however, wasn’t listening because the mention of the Monroe had made him think of Nog and he was wondering if Nog could be alive, “…Are you _listening_?” Castellan Dramok spoke.

Sighing anxiously, Jake nodded and re-focused, “Yes, _sorry_ ,” he replied apologetically.

“Anyway, I will lend you one of my personal shuttles and I want it back in the _same condition_ in which it went out,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a stern voice. “ _Do not_ damage or sell it.”

Jake nodded, “And what if my dad asks me _why_ I’m there?” he asked softly. “He’s probably…”

“I just want you to observe Captain Drammell, see if you can find anything out about the investigation into the Monroe, and then report back,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a quiet voice, his expression stern. “If you get caught and questioned, just say you are there to see your dad.”

Jake’s eyes narrowed, “This sounds like it would be a better mission for _Garak_ to carry out, to be very honest,” he replied in a concerned voice. “ _Why_ don’t you ask him to do it?”

“Because I think Starfleet’s going to try and make _trouble_ for Legate Garak based on false accusations and I want to keep him within arm’s reach so I can protect him and his family if I need to,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a stern voice. “You’re a _civilian_ and Officer Marratt’s considered a _troublemaker_ , so nobody really cares if you two leave. In fact, they _prefer_ it.”

Jake nodded and Officer Marratt sighed, “Are you _sure_ we can’t take Captain Staveli with us?” the Cardassian officer asked in a hopeful voice. “Her skills may prove most useful to this…”

“I haven’t decided _what_ Captain Staveli’s fate will be yet, so she is better off staying with Keiko O’Brien for the moment,” Castellan Dramok spoke firmly. “ _Remember your duty_ , Malko. Do not falter.”

Bowing penitently, Officer Marratt rose from the table and Jake did the same, “I expect a _full_ report of your observations when you return,” Castellan Dramok said. “Jake, I have already filed a flight plan with Starfleet stating that you are going to visit your father. Leave _immediately_ and remember your cover.”

Nodding, Jake offered a nod to the Castellan before following Officer Marratt from the meeting room.


	2. Uncertain Horizons

**November 2376**

**Deep Space Nine**

“Captain Drammell, a ship just arrived from Earth containing Jake Sisko and a suspicious looking Cardassian who _claims_ to be the security for him,” Colonel Kira, who had come back to Deep Space Nine with Captain Drammell to help him until a replacement First Officer could be sent, said as she came into the Prefect’s Office and saw him sitting at the desk reading a PADD. “Am I disturbing you?”

Captain Drammell looked up from the PADD and sighed, his expression concerned, “Starfleet’s trying to _dismiss_ the charges against Admiral Ross because Admiral Ross claims to know where the U.S.S. Monroe is,” he spoke in a distressed voice. “They’re acting like what Julian Bashir went through _doesn’t matter_.”

“I heard that, yes,” Colonel Kira replied in a concerned voice, frowning. “Had you not?”

Captain Drammell shook his head, “I guess my head’s not _quite_ back in the game yet,” he explained, setting the PADD among the ones already on his desk. “It’s a little _strange_ that Captain Sisko returned out of the blue and is leaving Doctor Bashir on Earth to go through all this _nasty_ aftermath alone, isn’t it?”

Colonel Kira walked over to the desk and sat in the visitor’s chair, “Apparently, it was _Doctor Girani’s_ idea to see if Doctor Bashir’s blood might help alleviate the strange disease that I’ve battled for a long time, the one that caused me to dodge the draft,” Captain Drammell explained softly. “I was beamed from Spacedock Station to the facility and I was so _horrified_ to see what they had done…”

“How are you feeling now?” Colonel Kira asked quietly, eyeing him. “You’re _looking_ better.”

Captain Drammell sighed, “The tremors are gone for the most part, but I’m very tired a lot of the time,” he explained in a quiet voice, his expression somber. “I’ve been making daily visits to Quark’s and for exercise in the holosuites and good meals, but my strength _isn’t_ there. Maybe the blood didn’t help…”

“Speaking of Quark’s, I think Jake and his friend went there,” Colonel Kira spoke in a concerned voice, knowing full well that the experience still very much affected Captain Drammell. “What should we do?”

Captain Drammell suddenly looked amused, “ _Somehow_ , I don’t think that they’re here by Starfleet’s bidding or with Starfleet’s permission,” he replied calmly. “I think we should have a conversation with them, but we can go to Quark’s for that. I want them to feel as if they can open up to us.”

Colonel Kira nodded and waited until Captain Drammell was on his feet before they made their way down to Quark’s together. Quark was lingering at the bar, silently watching as Jake and Officer Marratt sat together at a table with their heads down, neither of them speaking or moving at all.

“Quark, how was the memorial service?” Colonel Kira asked as they approached the bar.

Quark sighed, “Rom _cancelled_ it because he heard Starfleet re-opened the investigation into the Monroe and he _doesn’t_ want to spend the money for a grave if Nog’s still alive,” he spoke in a low voice.

Colonel Kira nodded, “Why is Jake here with that shifty looking Cardassian?” Quark asked softly.

“Have they said anything to you?” Captain Drammell asked quietly. “Anything at all?”

Quark shook his head, “They just came in and sat at a table,” Quark grumbled. “ _Didn’t buy anything_.”

Nodding, Captain Drammell wandered over to the table while Kira continued talking to Quark, “Welcome to Deep Space Nine,” he spoke in a kind voice. “I’m Stephen Drammell, the commanding officer of this station,” he spoke in a calm voice before eyeing Jake. “ _You_ …look familiar.”

“I don’t know if you knew my dad, sir,” Jake replied softly. “He was…is Captain Benjamin Sisko.”

Captain Drammell nodded and took a seat at the table, “He’s part of the task force investigating what really happened to the Monroe,” he explained calmly. “Did he _know_ you were coming to see him?”

Jake’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything because he didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t blow the cover that the Castellan had given him. Captain Drammell studied him intently.

“If you were _really_ in touch with your father as much as you claim to be, you’d know that the task force is currently on Bajor deciding their next course of action and that your dad is taking that opportunity to spend time with his wife,” Captain Drammell spoke softly, his expression stern. “They’re easy to reach.”

Jake shifted uncomfortably, but continued to be silent because he and his father hadn’t talked much since his father had taken the new assignment and he had been trying to hide it from everyone, “And what’s _your s_ tory?” Captain Drammell asked softly, eyeing Officer Marratt. “I find it _very unusual_ that you would be in the company of young Mister Sisko and be here with him to visit Captain Sisko…”

“My name is Malko and _that_ is all you need to know,” Officer Marratt replied coolly. “Understood?”

Captain Drammell sighed, “Your sudden appearance here doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Starfleet’s been trying to dismiss the charges against Admiral Ross for what he did to Julian Bashir, now does it?” he asked in a calm voice, not willing to play their game. “The Castellan must be _quite upset_ that the husband of one of his _prize Legates_ is being treated like _dirt_ just because he’s an _Augment_ …”

“ _You_ were the one who originally kidnapped Julian from Cardassia!” Jake snapped, suddenly losing it.

Instead of getting angry, Captain Drammell nodded and sighed, “ _Yes_ , and I regret it _every single day_ ,” he replied in a tone of resignation. “Starfleet nearly killed Doctor Bashir to give me my life back, but I don’t take joy in it at all. What’s done is done, however, and now I must ask you why you are _really_ here.”

“I’m here to see my father,” Jake replied firmly. “If he’s _not_ here, we can go without a fuss…”

Colonel Kira walked over to the table, having listened to Jake’s poor attempts to lie with great disappointment, “Jake, what did the Castellan ask of you?” she asked softly. “I _know_ he sent you.”

“I _promised_ I wouldn’t tell,” Jake replied softly, his expression scared. “Can you just let us go?”

Colonel Kira frowned, “ _No_ , Jake, we _can’t_ ,” she replied softly. “We’re going to keep you both on the station until your dad can come here to talk to you. I _don’t_ like that you were _sent_ out here…”

As Colonel Kira walked away to contact Captain Sisko, Jake swallowed hard and tried not to cry because he had _only_ agreed to this mission because he had hoped to learn more about Nog. Now, instead of getting information about Nog, he was being _detained_ on the station and being seen as _trouble._

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Wellington, New Zealand**

“… _I’m telling you, Castellan, the plan is going to fail and we need to cut our losses already_ ,” Elim’s voice filled the air, prompting Julian to wake from sleep. “ _When Dax is well, we need to go home_ …”

A frown filled Julian’s face, but he lay there in silence because Elim’s back was to him and the Cardassian’s attention was focused on the comms terminal near the doorway. He was feeling very tired and somewhat weak that day anyway, so he didn’t want to get up right away unless he had to.

“ _Perhaps you are right, Legate_ ,” the Castellan’s voice filled the air. “ _I’ll start making preparations_ …”

The voices lowered and Julian frowned, but he stayed quiet until the call ended. He then slowly sat up and cleared his throat, which prompted Elim to turn around and give him a surprised look.

“How _long_ were you sitting there for?” Elim asked softly, his eyes wide with anticipation.

Julian sighed, “Long enough to hear you mention _some sort of plan_ failing,” he replied groggily.

Elim sighed and promptly joined Julian on the bed, “Three days ago, the Castellan sent Jake Sisko and Officer Marratt on a mission to Deep Space Nine,” he explained softly. “He hasn’t heard from them.”

Julian’s eyes narrowed, “Jake’s a _civilian_ , Elim,” he replied weakly. “ _Why_ …why would the Castellan…?”

“You sound _weak_ this morning, my dear,” Elim cut him off, frowning. “Are you feeling all right?”

Julian responded by laying down and exhaling, “Just _very_ tired and a bit _shaky_ ,” he replied quietly.

“Being here in this situation is _clearly_ getting to you and I think we _need_ to do something about that,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice, gazing down at Julian worriedly. “We have a _life_ on Cardassia, Julian, and we _should_ go back to it when Dax is well enough to be out of the neonatal chamber. Earth is _not_ home.”

Julian said nothing, so Elim continued, “The Castellan is going to order his crew to prepare the ship and I’ve already arranged for Doctor Grayson-Dramok to visit here to see if Dax is well enough to be out of the chamber,” the Cardassian spoke in a calm voice. “I also asked her to come give _you_ an exam…”

Panic filled Julian and he found himself feeling extremely nauseous at the idea of a medical exam after enduring a month’s worth of experiments and constant exams at the hospital in London afterwards. He silently pulled away from Elim and made his way into the nearest bathroom, locking himself inside.

“…I _can’t_ be a _lab rat_ anymore,” Julian mumbled anxiously, huddling in a ball in the middle of the floor as sweat engulfed his body along with uncontrollable trembling. “I…I _can’t_ …I can’t be _studied_ …and…”

The nausea suddenly overwhelmed him and Julian found himself retching into the toilet, not hearing that Elim had picked the locked bathroom door using a lockpick. Elim’s eyes widened when he got the door opened and saw Julian weeping weakly into the toilet seat while struggling with being sick.

“I didn’t say you would have to go to _any_ sort of hospital, my dear,” Elim spoke, realizing that the mere mention of a medical exam had triggered panic in his husband. “She’ll just come here and _talk_ to you.”

Julian continued to weep, however, and Elim crouched down and gently pulled him into a brief embrace before helping him sit on the edge of the tub, “I just want _us_ to move on…I want _you_ to be _able_ to move on,” Elim spoke in a quiet, apologetic tone as he turned the bathtub on. “You need a hot bath, I think.”

“I…I’m _sorry_ ,” Julian spoke in a quiet, trembling voice. “I…I should be _stronger_ than all of this.”

Elim sighed gently, “The medication is helping you be able to _feel_ again, but it doesn’t mean you’re necessarily feeling _better_ ,” he spoke calmly. “That’s _why_ I want us to move on as soon as we can.”

“I feel like such a _burden_ to you,” Julian spoke softly. “I don’t _want_ to feel like a _burden_.”

Elim smiled, “Julian, you’re _anything but_ ,” he replied softly. “Now, let me take care of you.”

Julian nodded and quickly shed his clothes and got in the tub, not speaking as Elim washed him from head to toe with soap and shampoos. Elim didn’t offer any comment or criticisms about Julian’s standoffishness because he knew it was a normal reaction to what Julian had endured and _when_ Julian _wanted_ to be loved and comforted, he would seek it. Once Julian had been fully washed, Elim left him to soak in the warmth for a minute while he went to get towels and clean clothes from their room.

When Julian saw the clothes and towels, he got himself out of the tub and drained it before allowing Elim to gently dry him off. Elim quickly dressed Julian in the clothes and slipper boots before guiding him to their room and settling him in their bed, “I _need_ you,” Julian spoke in a groggy voice. “ _Please_.”

Elim climbed into bed beside him and Julian immediately clung to him before drifting off to sleep, immensely relaxed by the bath and clean clothes. Sighing, Elim lay there in silence holding him gently.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

_“…I hope the beamover from San Francisco was pleasant? Would you like some tea?”_

“…Julian?”

Julian groaned sleepily as he opened his eyes and saw Elim sitting on the bed next to him, “Are you feeling up to getting out of bed?” Elim asked softly. “Doctor Grayson-Dramok beamed over from San Francisco to have a look at Dax and you and I wanted to know if you felt like getting up…”

“ _Not really_ , but I _will_ because I _want_ to know how Dax is,” Julian replied groggily. “Hold on.”

Elim got off the bed and Julian slowly got up, not speaking as they walked into the children’s room where Dr. Grayson-Dramok was already examining Dax. Richard was sitting on Ricky’s bed holding Ricky in his lap and the smell of cooking was filling the house, meaning that Amsha was making food.

“How’s little Dax today?” Julian asked softly, his expression full of worry. “I just want him to be well.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok motioned for him to come closer and Julian did, but he frowned when he saw that the neonatal chamber was open and that Dax was not only awake, but cooing. Dax was dressed in a simple sleeper that Julian didn’t recognize; it was blue and looked homemade. Had Elim made it?

“Dax is doing _very, very well_ for someone who was conceived through a highly dangerous experimental procedure and put through growth acceleration,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok replied in a quiet voice as she looked up from her medical scanner at Julian. “I think it’s safe for him to be out of the neonatal chamber now, actually. Despite everything, he seems to be very heathy and quite a normal one-month old.”

Julian nodded, “Can…can I _hold_ him?” he asked softly, his expression. “I…I _need_ to _hold_ him.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok nodded and Julian gently scooped Dax into his arms before settling himself into the corner rocking chair. Richard looked pleased, but Elim looked almost concerned at the scene before him.

“Julian, if you remember, Doctor Grayson-Dramok is also here to visit with _you_ ,” Elim spoke softly, wondering if Julian had forgotten about his own exam in his excitement about Dax’s health.

Julian sighed softly, his eyes still on Dax, “Elim, _please_ , it’s _not_ necessary,” he replied in a voice that was unusually firm and nervous because he didn’t want to be talked to or touched like he was an experiment. “I _don’t want to waste_ the good doctor’s time anymore now that Dax is well.”

Richard frowned, as he understood Julian’s fear of examinations especially now that he had survived being violated so severely after undergoing genetic engineering as a child, “Elim,” he said softly. “I think Ricky is hungry and could use some breakfast. Why don’t _you_ take him and _I’ll_ talk to Julian, okay?”

Elim gave Richard a look of disbelief as if he couldn’t believe the man was daring to involve himself in their marital business, but Richard returned the look and so Elim collected Ricky before leaving the room in silence. Dr. Grayson-Dramok also left the room to give Julian space and Julian eyed his father silently.

“You _don’t have_ to do _anything_ that you don’t feel ready to do, Julian,” Richard spoke softly, his expression full of concern. “If all you want to do right now is rest with Dax, that’s _okay_.”

Julian sighed, “Elim just _arranged_ an exam for me and _didn’t ask_ if I _wanted_ one,” he spoke softly, gazing up at his father. “I _don’t_ feel good, but I’m _scared_ of not being what Cardassia will _expect_ me to be…”

“You’re welcome to stay with us as long as you need even after you’re done with Starfleet,” Richard spoke in a reassuring voice. “Have you decided what you’re going to do about that, by the way?”

Julian frowned, “I just want to be _done_ with them,” he spoke softly. “But I worry about _Miles_. He destroyed his career to help me and I want to help him, but I _don’t_ feel well enough…”

“Focus on _you_ ,” Richard spoke softly, offering a smile. “Do you want me to bring you breakfast?”

Julian shook his head and shifted Dax to his shoulder as he stood, “Maybe I just need to rest more, but I don’t know,” he replied in a subdued voice. “Elim probably wants to rush back to Cardassia now, but I was a drunk, depressed _mess_ when I was last there and I _can’t_ just expect to be welcomed back…”

Richard frowned, but didn’t say anything, “I slipped into _alcoholism_ , Dad,” Julian admitted softly. “I used to sit in Quark’s every night after work and drink real stuff and Nerys sent me to Cardassia to get away from it all. I ended up getting beaten up there and then I heard Doctor Dastra say I should be locked…”

“Oh, the one who slept at the table and hid food in his pockets when he visited here?” Richard cut in.

Julian sighed, “My _point_ is that I _should be stronger_ than simple things like drinking, depression, pain, and sickness,” he replied with a sigh. “All I can do right now, though, is just what I’m doing.”

“Now that Dax is out of the neonatal chamber, he’ll need some things,” Richard spoke in a quiet voice, offering a reassuring smile. “Why don’t you let Elim and I go to town for those things and I’ll have a word with him about what you’ve told me? You can stay here with Ricky and your mother and _rest_.”

Julian nodded and suddenly looked at Dax, smiling when he saw the infant cuddle against him, “Julian, why don’t you take Dax to bed with you and rest some more?” Richard suggested. “You and he _deserve_ some quiet time to yourselves and there’s going to be a _crowd_ at the table. You _don’t_ need that today.”

“That sounds _lovely_ ,” Julian spoke softly, having already fed Dax his supplement. “Thank you.”

Richard nodded and Julian took Dax to his room, smiling as he settled Dax in the middle of the bed before setting himself on his side. Dax huddled against him and Julian smiled before closing his eyes.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

The sun was high in the sky by the time Richard and Elim went to town and Elim cleared his throat as the vehicle neared the Starfleet compound. Richard looked at his Cardassian son-in-law expectantly.

“Do you mind if we stop at the compound?” Elim asked softly. “I want to tell the Castellan about Dax.”

Richard pulled into a parking spot next to the compound and turned the vehicle off, but sighed before Elim could get out, “Quit _pressuring_ Julian, will you?” he asked sternly, his expression stern. “He _knows_ you want to return to Cardassia. We _all know_ you want to return to Cardassia. You wanting to return to Cardassia _does not_ mean that Julian is _ready_ to return to Cardassia, however. He’s been through something _incredibly_ traumatic and needs lots of supports to recover. You may have married him, but that _doesn’t_ mean you’re being a good spouse to him right now. You need to be _more considerate_ about _his_ needs _instead_ of just focusing on _your_ wants. Anyway, I’ll be out here when you’re done.”

Elim’s eyes widened, but he gave no response and proceeded into the compound. He was surprised to see that the Castellan was sitting in the Communications Area, talking to someone on the screen while Galen sat behind him looking concerned, “… _Let Sisko handle it_ ,” the Castellan was saying softly. “ _Jake is his son and I had a feeling the boy went on the mission for ulterior reasons. Thank you for calling…”_

As Elim approached them, the Castellan turned to face him, “Castellan, I came to tell you that Dax is now out of the neonatal chamber,” Elim explained calmly. “If you wish, we can prepare to return _home_ …”

“Legate, I’m afraid that things aren’t _quite_ that simple,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a serious voice as he regarded him. “I was just talking with Admiral Grayson and she was just contacted by Deep Space Nine. It seems Jake Sisko and Officer Marratt have been _detained_ and Starfleet also wants _you_ detained.”

Elim’s eyes narrowed, “They’re not still accusing me of getting Chief O’Brien’s prison sentence delayed, are they?” he asked in a scandalized voice, his expression annoyed. “I’m telling you, I _didn’t_ do it.”

“No, they’re _curious_ as to _why_ you haven’t reported _anything_ on the translations despite saying that you would give _daily_ reports and _why_ you’ve sent several encoded data packets to Cardassia in the days since you started the translation work,” Castellan Dramok spoke sternly. “Just _what_ are you doing?!”

Elim silently sat on an empty stool next to Galen, “Because what I have learned in the translations so far have been quite _disturbing_ and I have been sending copies of everything to the Security Archives on Cardassia,” he explained in a quiet voice. “Admiral Ross’s intent was to use Dominion technology to _deal_ with _undesirable_ s because prisons are overcrowded and too much of a waste for some…like _Julian_.”

Castellan Dramok’s eyes narrowed, “I’ve been _trying_ to get Julian to resign quickly and quietly from Starfleet so we can leave, but I _fear_ I’m pushing him faster than he’s capable of going,” Elim said softly.

“I want access to your translations, Legate,” Castellan Dramok replied firmly. “ _Immediately_.”

Elim responded by producing a PADD from his pocket and handing it over, “I _plan_ on telling Julian the _truth_ once I can get him alone,” he replied in a grim voice. “I _know_ it will hurt, but as it is…”

Castellan Dramok’s eyes narrowed as he read the PADD quickly before returning it to Elim, “Upon learning this new information, I think it _best_ that ties between Julian and Starfleet are cut _as quickly and quietly as possible_ even if you have to do it using your spousal rights,” he spoke softly. “If you _believe_ Julian to be in _life-threatening danger_ , Cardassian law allows you to speak to Starfleet on his behalf…”

“ _Absolutely not_ ,” Elim replied firmly, scowling. “I will _not_ lie to my husband or act on his behalf without his permission because it would make him feel more _violated_ than he already has been by all of this.”

Castellan Dramok looked thoughtful and Elim swallowed hard before pocketing the PADD, rising, and leaving the compound in silence. He walked away from Richard’s vehicle and kept walking until he had reached the Bashir residence again. Amsha was sitting on the beach with Ricky and some simple books.

“Elim, I thought you were going to town with Richard?” Amsha asked, frowning at Elim worriedly.

Elim sighed, “I _need_ to talk to Julian,” he replied in a quiet voice. “Do you know where he is?”

“He and Dax are inside,” Amsha replied in a concerned voice. “He’s talking to your doctor friend.”

Nodding, Elim wandered inside and stopped at seeing Julian sitting on the couch talking with Dr. Grayson-Dramok with Dax resting on his knees, “Elim,” Julian spoke softly, seeing him there.

“Julian, we _need_ to talk _privately,_ ” Elim spoke quietly. “Mary, please watch Dax a moment.”

Julian frowned, but passed Dax over to Dr. Grayson-Dramok before getting up, “Let’s talk in our room, my dear,” Elim spoke in a quiet voice, taking his hand. “I’m going to tell you what you _need_ to know.”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

The moment Elim closed the door was the moment that Julian began to worry. To Cardassian couples, closed door conversations meant that the topic was a serious one and meant to be very private.

Instead of speaking, however, Julian sat on the bed and watched as Elim joined him, “My dear, I’ve translated enough to know that Admiral Ross’s intentions with the experiment were _not good_ at all,” Elim explained in a quiet, serious voice. “Admiral Ross’s intent was to use Dominion technology to _deal_ with _undesirable_ s because prisons are overcrowded and too much of a waste for some…like you.”

Julian’s eyes widened in surprise, “Starfleet’s been _hounding_ the Castellan as to why I haven’t been checking in and when I told him the truth today, he wanted me to use my spousal rights to speak to Starfleet on your behalf, but I _refused_ to lie to you or exclude you,” Elim explained softly. “I didn’t want you to feel any more violated than you have been in all of this. I have been sending copies of everything to the Security Archives on Cardassia and I _truly think_ that you _need_ to _resign_ and we _need_ to _leave_.”

“So they wanted me to _die_?” Julian asked in a quiet voice, his expression sad and full of pain.

Elim nodded, his expression grim and Julian sighed before reaching into the drawer of the table on his side of the bed and taking out a PADD, “I…I’ve had it written for a while,” Julian stammered softly. “The words were in my head when I was in Discovery Hospital and I…I put it on the PADD when I could.”

Nodding, Elim watched as Julian signed his name to the PADD before setting it on the bed to compose himself because the act of signing his resignation had hurt, “I want the pain to go away and now that I look back, Starfleet was the cause of a lot of it,” Julian spoke softly. “I..I _forgave_ my parents for what they did to me, but _Starfleet_ …they put me through _so much more_ …I want to help Miles, b-but…”

Sighing, Julian swore because his hands shook and Elim took his hands briefly to soothe them, “I can work from home as much as possible when we get back to Cardassia,” Elim spoke softly. “We can take things slowly.”

“ _Okay_ ,” Julian replied softly, sighing as released Elim’s hands and picked the PADD up again.

Exhaling anxiously, Julian sent the signed resignation letter off to Starfleet Command and immediately felt tears fill his eyes. He grabbed hold of Elim and Elim gently held him, both of them silent. After a few moments, they pulled apart and Elim gently dried Julian’s tears with his hands and stroked his face.

“What do we need to do before we leave?” Julian asked softly. “I suppose pack our things…”

Elim nodded, “We don’t have very much to pack, but we really _ought_ to tell your parents,” he replied.

Nodding, Julian got up and walked alongside Elim to the living room where Amsha and Ricky were now sitting with Dr. Grayson-Dramok and Dax while an exasperated Richard was standing in the doorway. Everyone looked at Julian and Elim and could immediately tell that something had changed.

“I just submitted my resignation from Starfleet,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice. “We’ve also decided to go back to Cardassia as soon as we can get everything arranged. Elim and I made this decision _together_.”

Richard and Amsha frowned, but Dr. Grayson-Dramok looked thoughtful, “Couldn’t you wait until _after_ the holidays and let us enjoy Dax’s first holidays as a family since we didn’t get to enjoy Ricky’s?” Richard asked in a concerned voice, giving Julian a look. “I _told_ Elim that he _needed_ to consider what you wanted more _instead_ of just _pushing_ his wants on you all the time. _Please_ tell me that he _didn’t just ignore_ me.”

“He _didn’t_ ,” Julian replied in a quiet voice, frowning. “Why… _why_ would you say something like that?”

Richard scowled, “Because you’re _clearly_ not well and he’s been _brooding_ about not being on Cardassia ever since you got released to stay here!” he replied sternly. “What he _needs_ to do is _listen_ to you!”

Sighing heavily, Julian turned away and was about to go to his room to rest when there came a knock at the door. He silently made his way to the front door and opened it, frowning when he saw the Castellan standing at the door looking serious, “Doctor, is Legate Garak here?” Castellan Dramok asked sternly.

Having overheard his name, Elim came to the door and frowned when he saw the Castellan there, “Starfleet wants to meet with you about the transmissions, Legate,” Castellan Dramok spoke sternly. “They want you to report to Starfleet Command by tomorrow morning.”

“Elim and I owe _nothing_ to Starfleet now that I’ve resigned,” Julian blurted out firmly. “I’m sure they won’t play fair with him if he goes. More than likely, they’ll _arrest_ him on the spot…”

Castellan Dramok’s expression suddenly changed to one of pure concern and he nodded, “I’ve sent Galen up to the ship to get the crew ready to go,” he spoke in a quiet voice. “You and Elim and your family had _better_ pack your things quickly. We can leave the Sol system after dark.”

“I _thought_ you were going to stay til the holidays!” Richard replied angrily, coming into view.

Julian sighed anxiously before glaring at his father, “I’m an _undesirable who deserves to die_ in Starfleet’s eyes and Elim’s been accused of a crime that he did not commit!” he replied sharply. “We _need to go_ while we still can and you need to stop worrying about ridiculous holidays!”

Richard’s eyes widened in shock and concern, as he was confused by Julian’s words, but Julian stormed off to pack without an explanation. Dr. Grayson-Dramok came into view and joined her husband outside while anxious talking filled the house. The Cardassian looked at her worriedly.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Cardassian Vessel _Python_**

It was close to midnight and Julian was tired, but he was wide awake and sitting next to the secure bed where Ricky and Dax slept together. The Castellan had generously given him, Elim, and their children his own quarters and he was currently on the Bridge with his flight crew because he wasn’t going to be able to sleep without his wife by his side and he knew it. Dr. Grayson-Dramok had elected to remain on Earth to help her sister with her health indefinitely.

Elim, Julian knew, was having a nightcap and a chat with Galen in the ship’s Mess and Julian didn’t blame them one bit. Julian had chosen to come with Elim despite being told by his mother and father that Starfleet’s business was with _Elim_ and that Elim was free to flee Earth _on his own_ if he wanted to. A fight had broken out when Julian had chosen to hold true to his marital vows and follow Elim back to Cardassia. Now, they were _truly_ on a precarious journey.

“My dear, you _need_ rest,” Elim’s voice suddenly filled the air. “You should go to bed.”

Julian looked up from the children to see Elim standing near the door looking tired, “Our things are still in the cargo hold,” he spoke in a quiet, tired voice. “You _know_ I _can’t_ sleep _without_ …”

A smirk filled Elim’s face as he produced Kukulaka from behind his back and Julian sighed, “Kukulaka’s _nice_ , but I can’t sleep without _you_ either,” he spoke softly. “Join me, my love.”

“The Castellan sent a message to Starfleet with my translations and an explanation as to why we left, but _who knows_ how that will be received,” Elim explained as Julian got into bed. “I…”

Julian gave him a look, “As your _personal_ physician and as your _husband_ , I’m _ordering_ you to get some _rest_ ,” he replied in a playful, but firm voice whilst wearing an expression of love.

“ _Oh_ , I _like_ your bossy side,” Elim replied, offering an impish grin. “ _Oh_ , _all right_. If you _insist_.”

Julian offered a smile to the Cardassian once he was in bed and immediately cuddled up against him once he was in bed with Kukulaka squashed in between them. Elim snaked his arm around Julian and held the younger man in his arms, knowing that Julian desperately needed love.

“Even with Cardassia as it is, we’ll find you the help that you _need_ to get well,” Elim spoke in a soothing voice as he gazed into Julian’s dark eyes. “I _know_ you’re not, but we’ll get you there.”

Julian sighed and responded by delivering a kiss to Elim’s face before nodding, “I _believe_ you and I _love_ you,” he replied in a quiet voice, his expression full of hopeful trust. “ _Very much_.”

“I love you too, my _dear_ doctor,” Elim replied in a soothing voice. “ _Very_ , very much.”


	3. The Lost and Wandering

**Several Days Later**

**Deep Space Nine**

“Will you _stop_ sulking?” Officer Marratt spoke in a stern voice as he came into the room holding a dinner tray in hand and saw Jake sitting by the window, gazing outward helplessly.

Jake sighed, but didn’t turn around, “I’m _not_ sulking,” he replied softly. “I’m _thinking_.”

“Wait…when I was at the bar, that bartender mentioned you and his nephew used to go there for dinner a lot,” Officer Marratt spoke in a quiet voice. “I didn’t know Humans and Ferengi _could_ be friends because Ferengi are _always_ trying to swindle them and everyone…”

Jake turned and glared at Officer Marratt, “Nog was _different_ and he was _more_ than _just a friend_ ,” he replied in a cold voice, his expression angry. “We were dating…in secret…”

An amused expression filled Officer Marratt’s face, “A Human and a Ferengi… _dating_?” he asked in a low voice. “ _Why_ were you dating in _secret_ if you were so much in love?”

“Because I’m the son of the Emissary to Bajor and the Bajorans _wouldn’t understand_ me being in love with a Ferengi male,” Jake spoke nervously, his expression sad. “Bajorans are _very traditional_ and during Kasidy’s time here, I would _constantly_ get inundated with offers from Bajorans to court their daughters so that I could _settle down_ and have a _proper family_. Kasidy got so frustrated with the Bajorans constantly in her business that she began to stay here less…

Officer Marratt scoffed, “You _shouldn’t_ let others dictate who you can love,” he replied softly, sighing as he walked over to Jake and offered the tray. “I brought you something to eat.”

“Are you staying out of trouble?” Jake asked worriedly. “That Captain Drammell guy…”

Officer Marratt sighed, “I _knew_ the Castellan’s assignment would _fail_ the moment he gave it to us because _you_ are _not_ trained to handle such missions, but he is the Castellan and I am trained to follow orders,” he explained in a patient voice. “You should have just told the _truth_ about why you came to the station. You came out of _love_ for your Ferengi boyfriend…”

Before Jake could reply, the door chime rang, “Come in,” Officer Marratt spoke calmly.

The doors slid open and Colonel Kira came into the room, “Jake, your father and Kasidy are here and they’re talking to Captain Drammell right now,” she explained in a firm voice.

“So can we go?” Jake asked in a concerned voice, frowning. “I can admit why I came.”

Colonel Kira frowned, “To the _office_ , yes,” she replied firmly. “ _Not_ off the station.”

“And _when_ is the Castellan coming from Earth for _me_?” Officer Marratt asked sternly.

Colonel Kira sighed, “You’re to come to the office with Jake,” she explained firmly. “Captain Sisko will explain what’s going on and what you’re going to be doing.”

The two males exchanged a look before Officer Marratt set the tray down and followed Colonel Kira in silence. When they reached the Prefect’s Office, Captain Drammell was sitting behind the desk while Captain Sisko sat on the other side with Kasidy, who was holding a tiny baby girl in a chest sling, “Jake, _what_ happened?” Captain Sisko asked in a concerned voice, frowning.

“I…I thought Nog… _might be alive_ ,” Jake found himself confessing. “I…I _love_ him, Dad.”

Captain Sisko’s eyes widened in shock and both Kasidy and Captain Drammell looked amused, but Colonel Kira didn’t look surprised, “Well, Nog could be alive, but the task force will have to do without me for a while because I’ve been summoned to Earth to deal with something else,” he explained in a quiet voice. “And I have to deliver Officer Marratt back to Earth.”

“The Castellan wants _you_ to take _me_ back to Earth?!” Officer Marratt spat coldly, scowling.

Captain Sisko frowned, “Actually, the _Castellan’s wife_ has requested your presence on Earth to serve as her bodyguard while she remains there with Admiral Grayson,” he explained in a serious voice. “I’m to deliver you there and then engage in some meetings with Starfleet.”

“And _where_ is the Castellan?” Officer Marratt asked in an incredulous voice, frowning.

Captain Drammell scowled, but said nothing, “Starfleet’s asked me not to discuss it, but they do want to give you some work,” Captain Sisko spoke calmly. “Will you come back with us?”

Jake looked nervous, but nodded and Officer Marratt scowled, “ _Captain_ ,” he growled, deeply unsatisfied with the lack of an answer. “ _Why_ am I being handed off to Lady Dramok?”

Before Captain Sisko could tell Officer Marratt off, the door chime sounded, “Ah, that must be the other guest we’ll be escorting to Earth at Starfleet’s request,” Captain Sisko said calmly.

“Come in,” Captain Drammell spoke in a formal voice, assuming a neutral facial expression.

The doors slid open and Ezri came into the room, “Hello there, old man,” Captain Sisko said.

Ezri nodded, her expression concerned because she had heard things from Starfleet Command about Julian _and_ Garak that had made her worry for both of them. She had also, however, been warned not to gossip about the situation and she was determined to follow orders.

“When are we supposed to leave?” Ezri finally asked in a quiet voice. “There’s a lot to do.”

Captain Sisko sighed, “As soon as possible,” he replied somberly. “Kasidy, are you sure…?”

“I’m coming with you,” Kasidy replied softly. “We can spend the holidays on Earth together.”

Nodding, Captain Sisko rose from his chair, “Then let’s go,” he spoke in a calm voice.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Cardassian Vessel _Python_**

“ _Legate, we’re now landing at the Port of Cardassia and I called ahead to notify them_ ,” Castellan Dramok’s voice spoke over the intercom as Elim sat beside Julian, who was quietly reading to Dax and Ricky in the worst Kardasi he had ever heard. “ _Are you ready to go_?”

Julian suddenly stopped reading and pocketed the book, “Their _clothes_ ,” he muttered softly, horrified that he had gotten so caught up in reading to the kids that he hadn’t prepared.

“You just _relax_ , my darling,” Elim spoke soothingly as he got up. “I will prepare our children.”

A mix of anxiety and relief filled Julian, but he remained where he was and watched Elim bundle Ricky and Dax into warm travelling clothes. He was tired and anxious, but very grateful to be away from Earth and her prejudices. On Cardassia, he had his husband and their children.

“My dear, you need to be bundled up too,” Elim’s gentle voice suddenly broke the silence.

Julian looked up at Elim and froze when he saw that Elim was holding a large, sweater like coat that had gloves and a hood sewn on it. It was dark blue and looked as if it had been homemade.

“Did you think the _only_ project I did was translating?” Elim asked softly. “Time to dress you.”

Julian stood and sighed, frowning when he saw that Elim was already dressed in a gray coat and had set the dressed Ricky and Dax in secure seats. Instead of saying anything, however, he allowed Elim to dress him and once he was dressed, he turned his attention to the room.

“What do we have left to pack?” Julian asked in a quiet, concerned voice, scanning the room.

Elim smirked, “I packed it all this morning while you were still asleep,” he replied softly. “The luggage will be beamed to the house and Kelas and Delyn will know we are coming.”

“Dada _up_ ,” Ricky demanded, lifting his arms towards Julian sporting a pleading look.

Julian sighed and retrieved Ricky from his seat, leaving Elim to fetch Dax, “Do we _have_ to go through the city today?” Julian asked, suddenly feeling worried. “I was _mugged_ last time…”

“Oh, _heavens no_ ,” Elim replied reassuringly, his expression calm. “We will be transported into the house and _only_ when you feel up to going out, will we go out. I _told you_ we would take things very slowly and I do try to keep my word when it comes to being your husband, Julian.”

Julian nodded and Elim gave him a reassuring look, “Shall we go?” Elim spoke kindly.

Again, Julian kept silent and focused on carrying Ricky. Elim didn’t comment, however, and led him to the transporter room while carrying the overly cheerful Dax in his arms. To their surprise, Castellan Dramok was manning the controls and Galen was there with his things.

“Ah, Legate, Doctor, nice to see you so prompt,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a calm voice. “Doctor Dastra and I just beamed your bags to your home and now we’re ready for you.”

Julian nodded and quietly made his way on to the pad, smiling when Ricky hugged him round the neck. Elim silently joined him and the Castellan said nothing as he beamed them away.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Bashir-Garak Residence – Cardassia City – Cardassia Prime**

Within moments, the familiar interior of Garak’s home had come into Julian’s view and Julian quickly realized that it was now also _his_ home. He had _married_ Garak and by Cardassian law, he was now owner of all that Garak had and likewise, Garak now owned all that was his.

A squeal suddenly filled the air and Julian pulled himself out of his thoughts just in time to see Ricky reach outward. He looked up to see Kelas approaching sporting a smile on his face.

“Well, _hello there_!” Kelas spoke in a kind voice. “And how are Julian and Ricky Bashir-Garak?”

Julian swallowed hard, unsure of how to respond because that would mean explaining all that had happened and also explaining Dax. As much as he _loved_ the new addition to his life, he _didn’t know how_ to explain the fact that he had been impregnated through an experiment yet again and had given birth through unethical means in _much less_ a time than was considered _normal_. Dax was _truly_ a medical _miracle_ and Julian _didn’t know how_ to explain it to _anyone._

For once, Julian didn’t know what to say and so he didn’t speak at all. He merely shoved Ricky into Kelas’s arms, as it was _obvious_ that Ricky liked Kelas and wanted to see him, and fled from Kelas’s sight. He silently made his way into the room that he had stayed in before and froze.

The single bed he had slept in before was gone and a crib stood against one wall while a small, toddler-sized bed sat against the other wall and simple carpets covered the floor. Voices filled the air and Julian stared at the redecorated room a moment more before going to the bedroom next door and seeing that the bed in there had been rearranged to accommodate two people.

 _Elim obviously did more than just send encoded data packages to Cardassia_. Julian thought as he silently made his way into that bathroom and turned the water on because he needed to soothe himself. Kelas _had meant well_ in asking how he was and how Ricky was, but Julian had no answer because he didn’t yet know. He _wasn’t_ himself by _any_ means and he _knew_ it.

Sighing heavily, Julian waited for the tub to fill before turning the water off. He then stood and stripped, but before he got into the tub, he caught sighed of his naked body in the long mirroe. At the sight of himself, Julian suddenly felt _very heavy_ because he realized that there could still be trouble because of how they had left Earth. He himself had sent a silent resignation to Starfleet instead of meeting with them and Elim had fled after being accused of _serious_ criminal behavior. His body and mind were scarred and broken and everything was still _far_ from over.

The bath forgotten, Julian walked closer to the mirror and studied himself intently from head to toe. His abdomen was covered in scars, stretch marks, and various shades of faded bruising and the rest of his body had various marks indicating he had endured much, which he _really had_.

Tears filled Julian’s eyes and he _wept_ at the sight of himself. _God, he was a disgusting mess._

“Julian?” Julian suddenly heard Elim’s voice say softly. “What are you…oh… _oh my dear_.”

Julian suddenly felt Elim embrace him from behind, “I haven’t looked at myself _properly_ since before everything happened,” he found himself saying softly. “ _How_ can you love such a _mess_?”

“Because there’s _more_ to you than just your body, my dear,” Elim replied softly. “I was coming in here to tell you that Kelas wants to have a look at you himself …”

Julian sighed anxiously, “And where are _you_ going to be?” he asked softly. “I need you here.”

“I am going to have to _eventually_ speak with the Castellan for not telling him earlier about what I did with Starfleet’s assignments, but _that_ won’t be for a few days,” Elim replied. “I’ll be here.”

A troubled expression filled Julian’s face, “When does Kelas want to _look_ at me?” he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m a _mess_ , but he’s a doctor…will it hurt?”

“It doesn’t have to be right away,” Elim replied gently. “You’re _not_ in a good frame of mind right now and Kelas needs to get supplies from the hospital. I’m _not_ going to make you go _there_ for an exam and besides, I _believe_ you’re getting ready to have a bath. Kelas and Delyn are keeping Dax and Ricky very busy, so I _can join you_ if you like. The bath _is_ big enough for _both of us_.”

Julian thought for a moment before nodding, “We _don’t_ have to do _anything_ but sit together, share the water, and just enjoy each other’s company,” Elim spoke softly. “Until you’re ready.”

“I _want_ to _feel_ like _yours_ again, Elim,” Julian spoke shakily, a look of longing in his eyes. “I feel _so violated, so dirty, so disgusting_ , and like I _betrayed our marriage_ by all that happened to me.”

Elim sighed, but nodded and escorted Julian to the bathroom with a determination to make Julian feel like he had gotten his way, but not push too far. The Cardassian didn’t personally feel as if Julian was any of those things nor did he feel that the man been unfaithful, but he also _knew_ Julian would simply carry on living in the unhealthy mindset unless he was placated.

The bath was a quiet one and Elim made sure to be affectionate, but gentle and Julian responded positively. Once Elim was clean and was satisfied that Julian was placated, he got out, dried, and got clothes for the both of them while leaving Julian to rest in the hot water.

From that point forward, Elim took charge of drying and dressing them both and Julian let him simply because he was tired. Once they were both presentable, they went into the living room and saw Kelas sitting on the couch reading to Ricky and Dax as they sat quietly in his lap.

“Delyn decided to put together a meal,” Kelas explained, looking up from the book at them.

Elim nodded, “Um, Doctor Parmak, how can Elim and I thank you for caring for our home while we were away?” Julian suddenly blurted out nervously. “You took time away from your _life_ …”

Kelas looked amused and concerned, “Doctor Bashir, here on Cardassia, _we take care of each other_ ,” he replied gently. “You do not _need_ to give me anything in thanks for…”

“ _Please_ …” Julian spoke softly, interrupting anxiously. “Our being away was a _burden_ to you…”

Elim gently drew Julian close, “It’s _all right_ ,” he whispered softly, realizing that Julian was behaving the same way he had when he had been at his parents house because his father had constantly reminded him to be grateful they were there so that he wouldn’t have to be held in a secure room at Starfleet Medical during his recovery. “Kelas _knows_ that you’re grateful.”

“It’s _not_ over, Elim,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice, sighing. “We both _know_ it’s not.”

Kelas eyed Elim suspiciously, “All right, Elim, _what_ did you do now?” he asked sternly.

At that moment, Dax began to whimper and Julian sighed, “He’s _hungry_ ,” he cut in anxiously, quickly retrieving the infant from Kelas’s lap. “Elim, which bag did you pack Dax’s food in?”

“I _did_ get child-friendly food the last time I was at the market if you just wanted to feed the kids that,” Kelas offered calmly, offering Julian a smile. “In fact, I bought food for all of you.”

Julian nodded, “Elim, is there enough daylight to register Dax at the Central Archive under the House of Garak?” he asked quickly, his expression nervous. “It _needs_ to be done…just in case.”

“My dear, I _don’t_ believe Sarina Douglas could find us as quickly as you believe or even that she is _interested_ in trying to claim Dax as hers, but I _can_ complete the registration process through the computer right now if it’s bothering you,” Elim spoke softly. “I _know_ you’re scared of her.”

Kelas looked mystified, “ _Who_ is Sarina Douglas?” he asked softly, frowning at the two of them.

Julian, however, turned to Ricky, “Let’s go into the kitchen and see what Delyn has made for us to eat,” he spoke softly, not wanting to discuss Sarina. “Do you want Daddy to carry you too?”

Ricky, however, was poking the book, “Book,” he demanded softly, gazing up at Kelas.

Swallowing hard, Julian took Dax into the kitchen and found Delyn cooking at a simple stove, “I was wondering, Delyn, if you had something for Dax to eat?” he asked softly. “He’s hungry.”

Delyn turned to look at Julian calmly, “Of _course_ ,” she replied pleasantly, both surprised and gratified at Julian’s gentle tone. “Are you hungry too? I am making a nice warm meal.”

“I suppose I am,” Julian spoke softly as he found a highchair at the table. “What’s this?”

Delyn smiled, “Oh, _that_ belonged to Master Garak,” she explained calmly. “It was one of the items he managed to salvage after the war ended. He meant it to be a surprise…”

Somewhat amused, Julian settled Dax in it before sitting next to him. He could hear Elim and Kelas talking in Kardasi about Sarina, but he didn’t mind because he himself had triggered the conversation by inadvertently mentioning Sarina Douglas. During the journey back to Cardassia, he and Elim had talked about the experiment briefly and about Sarina’s role in it. Elim didn’t personally believe that Sarina was as innocent as she claimed to be, but he also believed that she had no interest in the child either. Julian, however, couldn’t help but worry and wonder.

A door suddenly opened and closed, prompting Julian to pause. Several moments later, Elim came into the kitchen with Ricky in his arms and he set the boy in a chair that had a booster seat in it, a chair that Julian hadn’t noticed. Julian looked at Elim quizzically.

“Kelas had to get over to the hospital for work and to make sure Galen is fit to work,” Elim explained in a calm voice. “Besides, we are in need of private time as a family.”

Even though he wasn’t sure if Elim was being fully truthful, Julian nodded silently.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Abandoned Internment Camp - Unknown Space**

Loud, angry cursing filled the air and it was the first thing Sarina Douglas heard as she stepped off of the shuttle that she had quietly stolen using the fake authorization Admiral Ross had secretly given her. She had given him what he needed for his experiment on Julian Bashir and in exchange, he had given her a way to escape without attracting any trouble from anyone.

Of course, she had let Officer Marratt and Myrina Staveli sell him out to Starfleet before she escaped, but he was a _liability_. Admiral Ross’s obsession with destroying Augments and other undesirables was something that _disturbed_ Sarina and what disturbed her even more was the fact that he had requested her DNA to try and _destroy_ Julian. Just _what_ was Ross thinking?

During her time with Myrina and Malko, Sarina had learned that Julian had married a _Cardassian_ named Elim Garak and was raising Ricky with him. She had also come to terms with the fact that her attempt to impregnate Julian had failed miserably. The loss of her child had hurt so much that she had contributed to Admiral Ross’s experiment willingly in hopes of causing Julian more pain, but then she had heard how _much_ damage had _actually_ been done.

Once Starfleet had taken her testimony and cut her loose, as they had no use for an Augment on their soil, she had left the Sol System quickly and quietly. In one of their last conversations before Admiral Ross had put his experiment into action, he had given her coordinates of where he was holding potential candidates for future experiments. She was extremely curious about how many more were enduring what Julian had endured to have his two children.

Another scream filled the air and Sarina made sure her ship was secure before quickly making her way towards the scream, making a mental note to collect her belongings from the shuttle later on. Soon enough, she found herself in a huge common area that was full of individuals wearing dusty Starfleet uniforms who looked as if they had seen and endured another war.

All of the officers were Human and didn’t look at Sarina as she passed, so she moved through the crowd without speaking to anyone. Suddenly, she froze and gasped when Patrick came into view looking terrified. He stopped when he saw her and immediately engulfed her in a hug.

“We lost _another_ one,” Patrick spoke in a sad, child-like voice. “The Admiral will be _upset_.”

Sarina frowned as they pulled apart, “You lost _who_ , Patrick?” she asked softly. “What Admiral?”

Patrick sighed weakly, took her hand, and dragged her into the darkness. A few moments later, Sarina found herself in a large room that had been set up like a bunkhouse and a lab rolled into one. Pieces of what looked like a starship had been used to make makeshift beds, places to sit, counters, and a worktable. To Sarina’s horror, a body was currently laying on the worktable with Dr. Loews, Jack, a Cardassian, and a Ferengi in a Starfleet uniform standing over it.

“I have told you _time and time again_ that these Dominion experiments _do not_ work on Humans!” the Cardassian snapped in a cold voice. “And the Ferengi’s also too weak!”

The Ferengi whimpered, but said nothing, “What’s going on?” Sarina asked nervously.

“Ah, Sarina!” Dr. Loews spoke warmly, approaching her. “What brings you here?”

Sarina frowned, “Admiral Ross gave me these coordinates and said there were experiments being run here?” she asked softly. “When I got here, I heard shouting about bodies…”

“Ah, _yes,_ the crew of Monroe’s been here for a while because they came across this old camp that Jack, Lauren, Patrick, and I had been given by Admiral Ross to have free run of and they tried to kick us out, so we _captured_ the whole lot of them,” Dr. Loews explained. “Admiral Ross _allowed_ it because he needs people with brains to run his experiments and the crew of the Monroe has a _unique_ crew member on it. Problem is, though, that the crew member is _weak_ …”

Sarina gazed at the Ferengi, “The Ferengi kid says his name is Nog and that he’s a Lieutenant, but he’s not very _Lieutenant-like_ ,” Dr. Loews explained. “He could hardly stand a needle let alone any of the drugs, so we’ve been making him _watch_ the experiments on others to try and toughen him up, but we have not yet been successful…”

Nog looked at Sarina, “ _Nobody_ ’s survived so far,” he explained in a quiet voice. “I…”

“Admiral Ross got _arrested_ by Starfleet cause he nearly killed Julian Bashir in a facility on Earth doing a similar experiment,” Sarina explained in a concerned voice, appalled at the body. “I…Julian married a _Cardassian_ and they’re raising a family…”

The Cardassian there looked intrigued, “A _Cardassian_ , you say?” he asked softly. “ _Interesting_.”

Nog looked shocked, “Doctor Bashir…got _married_?” he asked softly. “Really? To a _Cardassian_?”

Sarina nodded, “His name is Elim Garak,” she replied softly, frowning. “I was told by a Bajoran named Myrina Staveli and a Cardassian named Malko Marratt. They’re on Earth right now…along with Julian and Garak. Last I heard, Starfleet ”

“ _Elim Garak_ got _married?_!” the Cardassian spat in an astonished voice, his eyes wide and his expression horrified. “The traitor doesn’t deserve _life_ , let alone a _spouse_! And Malko Marratt is a _weak fool_!”

Nog’s eyes grew wider, but he didn’t say anything, “I _wonder_ if Elim Garak might survive the experiment?” Sarina suggested softly. “Since he married Julian…he must be as strong.”

“We would have to find Garak first and goodness knows where he went after the war,” the Cardassian grumbled irritably, gazing at Sarina. “By the way, my name is Gul Marak. I’m _not really_ a Gul anymore….not since the war ended and the Dominion signed the treaty, but I _refuse_ to buy into the Federation’s little game. I stand by the Dominion and their work, as do others that went into hiding. We _protect_ this camp and the Great Link nearby because the Changelings feel as if they were duped into an unsteady peace and then _abandoned_ to themselves. It is _very_ hard work to serve as protectors.”

Sarina nodded and Dr. Loews suddenly looked intrigued, “Perhaps we need to send someone to Earth to find this Elim Garak to see if he is _strong_ enough for experimentation,” Dr. Loews spoke in a pleased voice. “Admiral Ross _will know_ where Garak is. Go visit him. If he was arrested, he will be at Security.”

“And _how_ do we get to Admiral Ross without attracting the attention of Starfleet?” Jack asked coldly.

Dr. Loews looked at Sarina calmly, “We have our ways of contacting him without being discovered,” she explained in a smug voice, smirking. “Ferengi, make our newest guest feel comfortable, will you?”

Swallowing hard, Nog walked over to Sarina, “Hi,” he spoke timidly. “Come with me…all right?”

Nodding, Sarina followed Nog across the room and to a row of bunk beds, “Pick whichever one you want,” Nog spoke nervously. “I…I built these for everyone after I recovered from the drugs…”

Sarina sat on one of the cots, silently studying Nog until he scampered off out of her sight.


	4. Rising Tensions - December 2376

**December 2376**

**Cardassia City – Cardassia Prime**

It was the first day of Winter Solstice on Cardassia and Julian was awake early. After a lot of thought and rest, he had decided to make himself go to the hospital on his own for an exam and possible treatment as an early Christmas present to Elim as thanks for all that he had done.

Julian hadn’t told Elim he was going to do this, either. He had quietly arranged the entire appointment with the Central Hospital and had let Delyn know he would be going out early that day, but to not tell Elim. Delyn had promised to keep things quiet and had even helped him pick clothes that would keep him warm for the walk from the walk from the house to the hospital.

The air was cold, but Julian didn’t allow it to bother him and he followed Delyn’s directions exactly so that he didn’t risk going through bad areas. It was early enough that evening Security patrols were still out and a few of them nodded to him as he passed, but none engaged him in conversation because they were busy and Julian seemed to look as if he was a relief worker.

When he finally arrived at the hospital, Julian was surprised to find Galen sitting at the desk reading a book and eating a simple meal of sliced fruit and a tiny glass of water. Galen looked up from his book at him and Julian froze, wondering if he was about to get reamed out.

“You’re looking well,” Galen commented softly. “I heard you have an appointment today?”

Julian nodded, “I…I didn’t _want_ to come here at first, but Elim’s done so much for me since we came back that I thought I had to do something for him,” he explained quietly. “Me being able to come here and get looked at would tell him his loving ministrations haven’t been in vain.”

Galen looked thoughtful and quickly pocketed the book before finishing his small meal, “Well, Kelas isn’t yet here because Tent City is now its own village outside of the main city and Kelas lives there because they need a doctor on site and they like him better,” he explained in a calm voice. “You can either wait for him to arrive or I can do the exam. I _know_ I can be quite…”

“It’s _fine_ ,” Julian replied softly. “My mind’s been _clearer_ since I went back on the medication and I brought the formula with me to see if more can be made, but my _body_ is my worry…”

Galen nodded and quickly got up, “Well, it has been through a great deal of _unnatural trauma_ in a _very_ short time, so it’s perfectly normal that you don’t feel well,” he replied. “Shall we?”

Swallowing hard, Julian nodded and followed Galen to an exam room, “I…I can’t help but remember that I was a _drunken mess_ when I was last here,” Julian spoke softly. “ _Now_ …I’m…”

“A _husband_ , a _father_ , a _survivor_ of _severe torture_ ,” Galen finished softly, his expression patient.

Julian sighed, his expression nervous as he gazed at the exam bed and Galen studied him calmly, “Are you _ready_ to do this?” Galen asked quietly. “We _don’t_ have to if you’re not…”

“I just want to get it over with now that I’m here, to be honest,” Julian replied softly.

Galen nodded and quickly got a medical kit from a nearby supply cupboard while Julian sat on the exam bed, “Are you feeling up to laying down for a full scan?” Galen asked softly.

Julian silently lay down and gazed up at the cracked ceiling, “Please just get it _over_ with, Doctor Dastra,” he spoke in a quiet, almost trembling voice. “I just want to get it over with… _please_.”

Galen, however, merely planted himself on the stool beside the bed and waited, “Your body language and tone of voice is telling me you’re _not_ okay with this, so we’re not going to do this until you’re _fully_ ready,” he replied patiently. “You seem to have forgotten that I worked in the Interspecies Medical Exchange and I _can_ discern between words and body language.”

“You have a _job_ to do, though,” Julian spoke softly. “I’m messing up your routine…”

Galen scoffed, “My _job_ is patient care and right now, _you_ are my _patient_ ,” he replied in a calm voice, eyeing Julian worriedly. “I’m _not_ like that Bajoran _idiot_ who would drag you through hellish motions hour by hour at that _torture chamber_ just because that _psychotic_ Starfleet Admiral wanted his fun. I _want_ to make sure you are healthy, happy, and safe…. _Doctor!_ ”

Anxious Kardasi escaped Galen’s mouth as Julian suddenly shot back up into a sitting position and promptly vomited on the floor, barely missing the sneakers Galen was wearing. Julian sighed anxiously and he closed his eyes, exhaling softly before he passed out or began crying.

Galen silently got up and moved around to the other side of the exam bed with his kit in hand, “Kelas _would have my head_ if I put you through the kind of exam you want after witnessing such a reaction,” he spoke in a firm voice, giving Julian a look. “I can _tell_ you aren’t physically well and I want to help you. What we’ll do is go to a _different_ room…away from the vomit.”

Julian didn’t say anything as he got up and went to another room with Galen, this time keeping himself dutifully restrained while laying on the cot. Galen could tell what he was doing, but the Cardassian ran a scan, made some notes on the chart by the bed, and then looked at him.

“I think you’ve done an _extraordinary_ thing just by coming here by yourself and submitting to an exam,” Galen spoke calmly. “The scan _does_ show you have a need for treatment and I can give you medicines to start you back on course, but I want to take my time with them because you’ve _already_ been overtaxed. We’ll start with some nutria-drips and a _nap…_ basic things.”

Julian nodded, “And while you’re napping, I’m going to contact Elim to come and collect you because on Cardassia, families are _supposed_ to care for and support one another through _everything_ ,” Galen spoke in a firm voice. “From what I saw of your family, I take it you’re _not used_ to that way of life. Given time, though, you’ll see that Cardassia is _very_ different.”

“Can…can you _stay_?” Julian asked as he began to feel sleepy. “ _Don’t leave_ the room.”

Galen was only taken aback for a moment before remembering that Julian had most likely been left alone for hours and days when he was being tortured, “I’ll stay,” he replied. “Go to sleep.”

Sighing softly, Julian closed his eyes to sleep while Galen settled himself at the computer.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“ _Incoming call from Central Hospital_ ,” an automated voice filled the room where Elim was nestled between sheets he and Julian had made together since being home. “ _Incoming_ …”

A groan escaped Elim’s lips, “ _Julian_ , get that, will you?” he groaned sleepily, not waking.

Silence filled the air and Elim’s hand reached out to see if Julian had heard him, but there was nobody there. Sighing irritably, Elim got up and grumbled in Kardasi as he wandered over to the bedroom comms terminal and sat. He flexed his hands before answering the call and was instantly shocked awake when he saw Galen on the screen looking stern and concerned.

“ _Elim, did you know that your husband is here_?” Galen asked softly. “ _Right now_?”

Elim froze, his expression concerned, “ _How_ did he get there?” he asked. “I’ve been asleep.”

“ _He made the appointment himself and brought himself in_ ,” Galen spoke quietly as a nurse passed behind him, causing him to turn away briefly. “ _Put that in without waking him up_.”

Elim’s frown deepened, “Galen, what’s happened?” he asked worriedly. “Tell me?”

“ _Not over the phone_ ,” Galen spoke sternly. “ _I’ll tell you when you get here. Good bye_.”

Before Elim could argue that he had a meeting with the Castellan later that day to be taken to task for his behavior on Earth, the screen went black. Swearing in Kardasi, Elim rose and quickly dressed in outdoor clothes without bothering to wash for the day like he usually did.

“Delyn!” Elim called out as he ran a brush through his hair. “Come here for a moment!”

Within a few minutes, Delyn, who was already dressed for the day, appeared in the doorway of the master bedroom, “Can you please watch Ricky and Dax while I go out?” Elim asked softly.

Delyn nodded and Elim quickly bunded himself out, grabbing some money and identification card before rushing from the house. Elim speedwalked the entire way to the Central Hospital and it didn’t take him long to pick up Julian’s scent, as the man had a very _unique_ scent.

To Elim’s shock, Julian was unconscious on an exam bed while Galen sat on a stool beside the bed, silently working on the bedside computer. As Elim drew near, he saw a line in Julian’s hand and immediately became worried. He cleared his throat and Galen sighed without looking up.

“Oh, Elim, don’t be dramatic,” Galen spoke calmly. “Your husband is merely taking a _nap_ while he’s getting a dripfeed of nutrients. I’ve only done that and a scan. Nothing too much today.”

Elim nodded, but his concern didn’t disappear because to him, Julian looked so small and thin on the biobed. He silently walked over to Julian’s bedside and gently touched Julian’s hand.

“... _Five more minutes_ ,” Julian spoke in a tired voice, not waking. “I was up _so late_ last night…”

Galen looked at Elim, “He _really_ was,” Elim explained quietly. “Ricky feeds off of Julian’s emotions. Julian’s worst time is at night and Ricky got scared, so Julian had to read to him.”

Galen nodded and Elim took Julian’s hand in his own, “I have to meet with the Castellan this morning, so I’ll just bring Julian along,” Elim spoke softly. “Delyn is watching our children.”

“Oh, so you’re going to _finally_ get it for _stealing_ Starfleet data and _hiding it_ from the Castellan, are you?” Galen asked softly, giving Elim a look. “The Castellan doesn’t personally _mind_ if we steal data now and then, but he _doesn’t like_ to be kept in the dark. I _hope_ you get off easy.”

Elim swallowed hard, “For Julian’s sake, so do I,” he spoke softly. “I was _only_ thinking of him.”

A faint sigh filled the air, “Elim, I hear you,” Julian mumbled softly, not opening his eyes.

“I’m _right here_ , my dear,” Elim spoke gently. “Just keep resting. I’m _not_ going anywhere.”

Galen gave Elim a look before rising from the stool, “Kelas should be arriving soon and I need to do rounds with him, so take my chair,” he spoke softly. “If you’re late for the Castellan…”

“I’ll _handle_ it,” Elim replied softly as he sat in the stool. “My _place_ is with Julian.”

Sighing, Galen left the room and Elim used his free hand to gently stroke Julian’s hair.

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Starfleet Properties - San Francisco, Earth**

It was early, but Miles was up and he found himself sitting in a chair by the window, silently looking over photos that his wife had put in a holo-album and brought to him. Photos were one of the few personal possessions that were allowed to people destined for the penal colony and she had brought it to him just in case he was sent there without a chance to say goodbye.

Among the photos Keiko had sent were the ones from Julian and Elim’s wedding and Miles found himself missing his friend very much. He didn’t regret throwing his career away to save Julian’s life, but he wished he could at least know if Julian was doing all right. What he knew was very little: Julian and Elim had fled in the middle of the night with their children with the help of the Castellan and his guest and Starfleet was angry about it. What Starfleet was doing about it, however, was classified and Miles didn’t have clearance to know anything about it.

A knock suddenly sounded, “Am I bothering you?” a gentle voice suddenly asked.

Miles looked up from the holo-album and was stunned to see Dr. Grayson-Dramok come into the room wearing Cardassian clothing adorned with emblems indicating that she was an off-world ambassador, “Didn’t you leave Earth?” he asked in a confused voice, frowning.

“No, my husband left earth, but I stayed with my sister,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok replied simply, her expression calm and her tone cautious. “I came to see how you were feeling and if you were up for a meeting with Admiral Grayson. She wants to talk to you about the future.”

Miles sighed and stood up, quickly returning the album to the table where he kept his personal effects, “Where’s the meeting?” he asked quietly. “All I have are civilian clothes …”

“The Admiral’s just waiting in the family room for whenever you’re ready,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok explained calmly, keeping her expression neutral. “This is going to be a _short_ meeting…”

A sad expression filled Miles’s face, but he nodded and followed Dr. Grayson-Dramok to the family room, determined to be brave. To his shock, Keiko and Ezri were there with Admiral Grayson, but nobody spoke and Miles sat beside his wife without asking any questions.

“Let’s cut right to the chase, shall we?” Admiral Grayson spoke calmly. “Your transfer to the penal colony in New Zealand has been approved for January 2nd, 2377 at 0800 hours.”

Miles nodded, but didn’t speak, “From today until then, you’ll be on monitored release and your movements will be restricted to the city of San Francisco,” Admiral Grayson explained. “You’ll have a curfew from 2300h to 0600 during which time you are not allowed to leave your official place of residence except in the case of an emergency. Do you agree to the terms?”

A confused expression filled Miles’s face, but he nodded, “I agree,” he replied softly.

“Good,” Admiral Grayson replied softly. “You may gather your things to leave and Commander Dax is here to give you a counseling session before you go. Do you have any questions?”

Miles shook his head, as he wasn’t sure why he was suddenly being shown compassion and didn’t want his mouth to accidentally get it taken away, “Why don’t you and Ezri talk in here and I’ll get your stuff from your room, Miles?” Keiko suggested softly, smiling at him.

Again, Miles nodded and Keiko left, as did Admiral Grayson and Dr. Grayson-Dramok. The Admiral and the doctor were both concerned about Miles’s sudden reluctance to talk, but they knew Miles wouldn’t say anything in front of them. Ezri was likewise concerned about it.

Ezri studied Miles carefully and Miles sighed, “I thought I’d be shipped off to jail a lot sooner than this,” Miles admitted nervously, gazing at Ezri. “I knew what I was doing….”

“Starfleet’s equally surprised, but they weren’t able to figure out who did it nor were they able to override the commands,” Ezri explained, having been told the situation. “I’ve been sent all the assessments and reports done on you since you’ve been in here and I really think you’ve got severe PTSD plus severe anxiety. You’ll be on a modified program at the penal colony.”

Miles sighed, “I _know_ I’ve got problems, but _wow_ ,” he replied in a stunned voice. “ _All that_?”

Ezri nodded, “It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she replied softly. “I personally think it should _disqualify_ you from having to serve hard time, but the Federation Council disagrees and they were only willing to push the time back so you could spend Christmas with your family.”

“Do you think the modified program might include being on a work crew?” Miles asked softly, his expression somber. “I’ve always felt better when I can do some type of work.”

Ezri sighed, “I can recommend it to whatever therapist they assign you to there,” she replied in a quiet voice, frowning. “I’m not going to have a say what happens once you’re there, though.”

A tightness suddenly filled Miles’s chest as he began to wonder what life behind bars would be like and if he would be able to handle it. He suddenly felt as if he couldn’t breathe and a choking sound escaped his throat as he began to lose awareness of his surroundings.

“Chief O’Brien?” Ezri asked in a concerned voice, her eyes widening as he suddenly dropped to the floor wheezing anxiously. “Doctor Grayson-Dramok! Someone! Help!”

The door slid open and Dr. Grayson-Dramok came in quickly, having heard the shouting, and she swore when she saw Miles on the floor in the midst of a panic attack. She reached for her combadge as she knelt next to him, but she suddenly felt a hand cover her own.

“Just…give me a _moment_ ,” Miles managed to say shakily. “I just want to get out of here.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok pulled back and watched as Miles shakily managed to collect himself and sit up, “I…I’ve had them before and they went away,” he spoke softly. “I can handle it.”

Ezri frowned, “How long have you had them for?” she asked softly. “They sound _serious_ …”

“I…since I got back from Deep Space Nine,” Miles explained. “Julian doesn’t need to know.”

Before Ezri could reply, Miles got to his feet, “I honestly just need to go home and be around my family and rest up before I go to prison,” he spoke in a quiet, tired voice. “ _Please_.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok looked concerned, “Since I know you keep your personal PADD on you, may I see your notes on your panic attacks?” she asked softly. “May Commander Dax?”

Sighing, Miles reached into the pocket of his pants and handed over his PADD, “I’ve been keeping a _journal_ on there since I came back to Earth and since I helped rescue Julian,” he admitted quietly. “ _Nobody_ knows about it. Not even Keiko. _Please_ don’t tell anyone.”

“This information may prompt Starfleet to reassess your sentence because it’s _clear_ you aren’t psychologically fit to go to the penal colony,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok said as she found and quickly skimmed through the entries. “What’s this about Admiral Ross stalking you every morning?”

Miles sighed, “He or his aide would linger outside the apartment and watch it and my movements,” he explained quietly, sighing. “If you want to have me arrested for _that_ …”

“Do you mind if I take this to Admiral Grayson and talk things over with her?” Dr. Grayson-Dramok asked in a concerned voice, frowning. “Commander Dax can walk you and your wife back to your apartment. In fact, I’d _prefer_ that she did since she’s properly armed.”

Miles swallowed hard and Ezri moved over to him, “I’m _not_ an armed escort, just a _friend_ ,” she spoke gently, seeing that he was scared. “It’s just going to be _friends_ taking a walk.”

“Okay,” Miles replied softly, sighing. “ _Yeah_ , you can share that with Admiral Grayson.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok nodded, “I’ll make sure it gets back to you quickly,” she promised.

Nodding, Miles made his way into the hallway and was unsurprised to find Keiko waiting for him there with his bag of things all packed, “Are you ready to go?” Keiko asked softly.

Miles sighed, “ _Yeah_ ,” he replied quietly, his expression tired. “Dax is gonna walk us.”

Keiko studied Miles worriedly, but nodded and took Miles’s arm, “Let’s go,” she said softly.

As the O’Briens and Ezri left, Dr. Grayson-Dramok turned and moved down the hallway to where Admiral Grayson had been listening and watching just out of view. Admiral Grayson looked concerned, but she also looked tired, “When can we meet about this?” Dr. Grayson-Dramok asked softly, showing the PADD. “I have concerns about the Council’s ruling.”

“We can meet in my office right now,” Admiral Grayson replied in a quiet voice, frowning at her. “Mary, there’s something you should know. The Federation Council was _quite angry_ when the Castellan left Earth with Legate Garak and Doctor Bashir. They decided to release Admiral Ross and keep him on monitored release until they can see about bringing Bashir back.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok frowned, “Doctor Bashir _wasn’t_ a prisoner and he _resigned_ from Starfleet,” she replied coldly. “He _already gave_ his testimony. Does the Council not believe him?”

“Because of his status, no,” Admiral Grayson replied. “They’re on Ross’s side and Garak sending the transmissions to Cardassia without sharing the findings doesn’t help Bashir’s case _at all_. They want Doctor Bashir back here for a formal court martial and to give his account again.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok’s eyes widened, “He _can’t_ handle that,” she replied angrily. “He _can’t_ …”

Admiral Grayson gave no reply as the two made their way through the hallways of Medical to the Command Building. As they walked, however, both women were unaware of the fact that they were being followed by a newly released Admiral Ross. Only when did they reach the office did they see that he had followed them and Admiral Grayson promptly sat at her desk to address him while Dr. Grayson-Dramok lingered near the comm terminal, ready to call for help.

“Admiral Ross, what can I do for you?” Admiral Grayson asked softly. “I heard about…”

Admiral Ross smirked, quickly removing his combadge, “I don’t think you want _anyone_ overhearing this conversation, do you?” he asked coldly, his expression stern.

Deeply confused, Admiral Grayson and Dr. Grayson-Dramok removed their combadges, “Admiral, I _know_ you were the one who got Doctor Bashir the medication he once had at Deep Space Nine,” Admiral Ross spoke sternly. “He was on the _verge_ of losing his mind and he would have been declared _dangerous_ enough to institutionalize, exile, or execute and you _ruined_ it.”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about,” Admiral Grayson replied coldly, refusing to be intimidated by the man even though she didn’t feel well and was truthfully scared.”

Admiral Ross scoffed as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a PADD, “I’ll keep that secret and the one about your terminal illness if you allow me to do post-war work in space,” he spoke coldly, tossing a PADD on the desk. “This is my request for that. I’ll leave it to your mercy.”

“ _Get out_ of my office,” Admiral Grayson replied coldly, glaring daggers at him. “ _Now_.”

Smirking, Admiral Ross left and Admiral Grayson exhaled anxiously, “The offer’s still open if you want to come to Cardassia with me,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok spoke softly. “Jhanathan…”

“I _know_ he’d allow it, but I _can’t_ ,” Admiral Grayson cut her off anxiously, her expression one of pure anxiety. “Did you do what I told you to do in regard to Doctor Bashir’s parents?”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok nodded, “Yes,” she replied softly. “Are you feeling all right?”

Instead of responding immediately, Admiral Grayson rose from her chair and pocketed the PADD Admiral Ross had left behind, “Let’s go for a walk,” she spoke in a quiet voice.

Nodding, Dr. Grayson-Dramok moved over to her sister and walked from the room with her.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Cardassia**

By the time Galen felt comfortable releasing Julian from the hospital, it was nearly time for Elim to visit with the Castellan. Not wanting to be late and end up in deeper trouble than he already was, Elim simply chose to take Julian with him. A skimmer wasn’t readily available, so the two had to walk and Elim resorted to simply giving Julian a piggyback ride so he wouldn’t tire out.

And the thing that troubled Elim the most was that Julian wasn’t even heavy. He was very light to carry as if he had no weight at all and that _wasn’t normal_ for someone Julian’s age; it wasn’t normal for someone who had given birth to two children to be so light. It worried Elim deeply.

Yet, he kept quiet during the journey to the Castellan’s home and only let Julian stand on his own two feet again when they were outside the front door. The Castellan’s residence was on one of the few hills that hadn’t been blown to bits by the Dominion and it overlooked what of Cardassia City still stood, serving as a symbol that the Castellan was there to watch over all.

Julian had found it strange to be carried by Elim, but he hadn’t argued simply because he was feeling emotionally displaced from his visit to the hospital. Galen’s diagnosis had made him realize he was still a mess and he wondered if he would ever truly feel like himself again.

A knocking sound suddenly filled Julian’s ears and he realized it was the sound of Elim knocking on the Castellan’s door. He forced himself away from his thoughts about the hospital and focused on the present moment, “Will the Castellan mind I’m here?” he asked softly.

“The Castellan is _very_ welcoming to visitors,” Elim spoke calmly. “He’s not mad at _you_.”

Julian sighed anxiously, “I _hope_ the Castellan isn’t _too_ angry at you,” he said in a quiet voice, his expression distressed as he wrapped his arms around his husband. “I _need_ you… _so, so_ much.”

Elim offered Julian a smile and returned the embrace, “As I need you, my dear,” he replied gently, kissing Julian’s face as the door opened and they were greeted by Castellan Dramok.

“Good day,” Castellan Dramok spoke calmly, nodding to the two of them. “Do come in.”

Julian and Elim obeyed and stopped short when they saw Richard and Amsha sitting on a padded bench in the small foyer surrounded by luggage. Julian swallowed hard.

“Mother, Father, what are you doing on Cardassia?” Julian asked in a confused voice, wondering if something bad was going to happen. “Are…am I being sent back to Earth?”

Castellan Dramok scoffed, “As much as the Federation Council may want you to face a formal court martial because of what your husband did, _absolutely not_ ,” he explained in a firm voice as he came into view. “I personally think you should just _give up_ your Federation citizenship so they can’t touch you, but that is _completely_ up to you. My wife actually used her ambassadorial power to send them here indefinitely and if you don’t have room, they can stay with me.”

For a moment, Julian was quiet before sighing, “We can _make_ room,” he replied softly, knowing there was at least one unused bedroom in his and Elim’s house. “How did you get here?”

“We were told to _not_ discuss that,” Richard replied calmly. “We’d rather keep our word.”

Julian’s eyes narrowed, but he nodded, “Now that that’s settled, on to business,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a formal voice, giving Elim a look. “Legate, you’ve been _neglecting_ your duties in recent weeks since you’ve been back and so I want you to return to them. You’re in charge of organizing humanitarian and restoration efforts. Make your plans from home carry them out.”

“I was making clothing designs while I was on Earth as much as I was able to while caring for my husband and two children and I also worked on the Botanical Restoration Project,” Elim replied.

Castellan Dramok sighed, “ _Where_ is your work?” he asked sternly. “I want to see it right now.”

“It’s on Elim’s workdesk at home,” Julian volunteered. “He works so very hard on all of it….”

Castellan Dramok nodded, “I believe you simply because I think, in your vulnerable state, you are _very much incapable_ of saying anything but truth,” he replied calmly. “Legate, _go home_ and get yourself _to work_. Your husband’s parents can help you and your husband with household affairs and your children. I want _you_ to give more of your attention to your work projects now and _that_ will be your penance for stealing the Starfleet data and not telling me about it.”

Amsha frowned at Julian as she rose and moved over to him, “Julian, you look _so thin_ ,” she spoke worriedly, her expression sad as she touched his face. “Have you been eating?”

“We…we should probably get home,” Julian spoke quietly, not wanting to discuss himself.

Castellan Dramok frowned at Julian, “Are you all right?” he asked quietly. “You seem shaken.”

“I’m fine, Castellan,” Julian replied softly. “I’m just thinking of all we need to do today.”

Castellan Dramok studied him briefly before nodding, “You should get your parents temporary resident permits at the Central Command Office in the next few days so that they can have access to services while they’re here,” he spoke calmly. “And you _need_ groceries.”

“We’ve been managing on rations quite well,” Julian spoke in a hesitant, nervous voice.

Castellan Dramok scoffed, “You’re now feeding two extra people and we’ve had a decent harvest,” he replied sternly. “Five adults, one of whom is recovering from _serious_ torture; and two small children is reason enough to take some of the grocery supplement. Am I clear?”

“I…If we’re taking all these things, I should see about taking shifts at the hospital or somewhere where help is needed,” Julian spoke nervously. “I’m _sure_ Cardassia could use the help…”

Elim frowned at Julian worriedly, “My dear, you don’t _have_ to work,” he spoke gently.

“I can’t be stuck in the house _all_ of the time,” Julian replied quietly, his expression upset as he suddenly wondered if that was Elim’s intention. “The house is beginning to feel like…”

The words “the prison where I was held” sat frozen on Julian’s lips because he dared not say them even though he wanted to. He loved Elim, he loved Ricky, and he loved Dax, but Elim hadn’t let him go out into the city since they’d been home and he felt _smothered_ to the point where he had suffered quiet nightmares about his time in the facility in Sweden. Elim had kept him close and resting as much as possible in an attempt to help him, but he needed _space._

Castellan Dramok looked from Julian to Elim and sighed, quickly gathering that Julian wasn’t comfortable explaining himself to everyone for fear of creating contention, “Legate, why don’t you take your in-laws and their bags to your home?” he suggested calmly. “Doctor, why don’t you and I sit and chat over some red leaf tea? We can discuss your Federation citizenship.”

Elim looked like he wanted to argue, but the Castellan gave him a look and Elim swallowed hard before turning to Richard and Amsha, “Shall we?” he spoke calmly. “We’ve been asked to go.”

Richard and Elim quickly gathered the bags and left with Amsha, none of them sure when Julian would join them. Once the house was quiet, Castellan Dramok offered a smile to Julian.

“Come, I keep the red leaf tea in the kitchen,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a kind voice.

Julian followed the Castellan into the kitchen and lingered by the door, watching as Castellan Dramok silently prepared a pot of red leaf tea on a simple stove, “I could tell you wanted to talk away from ears that might not understand what you’re feeling,” Castellan Dramok said softly.

“I know I shouldn’t be ungrateful, but Elim’s not let me out of his sight or out of the house since we got back to Cardassia and I’m beginning to feel like I never left that godawful prison I was held in on Earth,” Julian admitted quietly. “I…I know I wasn’t capable of doing much when I was first rescued, but I am now that I have my medication and I can see that there are things to do.”

Castellan Dramok quickly poured two cups of tea, turned the stove off, and motioned for Julian to join him at the table, which Julian did, “I went to the hospital this morning for an exam in hopes of getting clearance to work, but I had an anxiety attack and Doctor Dastra ended up _admitting_ me until Elim could be called to rescue me,” Julian spoke softly, deeply ashamed.

“Well, I don’t think you’re _quite ready_ to take on medical duties,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a kind voice, sipping his tea as he looked at Julian kindly. “You most definitely need time and help before you’re strong enough to lend a hand in helping put Cardassia back together, but you can still contribute. You can help Elim with his work from home and prepare humanitarian kits.”

Julian sighed, sipping his tea so to be polite, “Castellan, _why_ are my parents here?” he asked in a concerned voice, frowning. “I left them expecting to never see them again….”

“My wife was advised by Admiral Grayson to send them here indefinitely,” Castellan Dramok explained in a quiet voice, sighing. “She didn’t go into detail, but I’m not altogether _sure_ things are all right on Earth. I feel as though there’s _trouble_ and so I think there’s _good reason_ …”

Julian nodded, his expression concerned, “Admiral Ross got off, didn’t he?” he asked softly.

Castellan Dramok exhaled softly, realizing that there was no way he could lie, “I’m _afraid_ he did, but he’s on monitored release and prohibited from leaving the planet,” he explained in a quiet voice, sighing. “Doctor, I’m _sorry_ you felt as if you were being held captive, but I _asked_ your husband to take precautions in light of Starfleet’s carelessness just _in case_ they wanted to…”

“Come back and finish me off?” Julian finished softly, sighing. “And Elim couldn’t just _tell_ me?”

Castellan Dramok shrugged, “He _probably_ thought you didn’t need to know or that knowing wouldn’t help you,” he replied simply. “Starfleet’s failure to protect you is _why_ I think you should just give up your Federation citizenship entirely…it’s entirely your choice, of course.”

“I’ll talk with Elim about it,” Julian replied softly, sighing. “Thank you for the tea, Castellan.”

Castellan Dramok nodded and Julian rose, saying nothing as he took his empty cup to the sink before leaving the house. To his surprise, Elim was waiting outside with a skimmer that was already holding his parents and their bags. The Cardassian looked quite pleased with himself.

“I thought you would have been home by now?” Julian asked quietly as he walked over to him.

Elim sighed, gently embracing him. “It’s not home without _you_ , my dear,” he said softly.

Nodding, Julian returned the embrace and graciously let Elim help him into the skimmer.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**San Francisco, Earth**

_Sarina suggested that we use Elim Garak for the experiments because the ones from the Monroe keep dying and we are running out of options. What do you think? – Gul Marak_

A scowl filled Admiral Ross’s face as he sat on apartment balcony, skimming through his private PADD while enjoying a cup of coffee. His day was already bad because Admiral Grayson had seemingly refused to make his return to the experiment site easy and now it was _worse_.

 _I wonder if I should just murder Admiral Grayson and use her credentials to get to the site?_ Admiral Ross silently wondered, his scowl deepening when he suddenly spotted Ezri walking with Miles and Keiko down a path towards the family apartments. _What was O’Brien doing out?_

Cursing quietly, Admiral Ross put his PADD in his pocket and rose from his chair while setting his coffee on the table. O’Brien was obviously heading for home and if he was heading home, he _wasn’t_ headed for the penal colony. That, above all else, _infuriated_ Admiral Ross beyond reason because Miles O’Brien had helped an illegal Augment _murder_ a fellow Starfleet officer and had basically gotten away with it. And now, the man had been _released_ from punishment.

A growl escaped Admiral Ross’s lips and he stormed inside to pace. His day was now officially ruined and he was now forced to live with the fact that he had failed. His experiment had failed, his subject had escaped, and his lab was in space on the verge of becoming an epic failure.

Only _one_ thing remained, Admiral Ross realized as he quickly pulled his PADD back out and re-studied the message. _Elim Garak_. He _needed_ to go to Elim Garak and somehow capture him.

Even though he himself didn’t know where Garak and Bashir were, Admiral Ross knew that Admiral Grayson or Dr. Grayson-Dramok would be in possession of that information. The two women were _weak_ and he was an _expert_ at getting information out of weak women, _especially_ when one of those weak women was _dying_. The other was married to the Castellan of Cardassia and was _technically_ a diplomat, but the Castellan was _not_ there and had left his wife _vulnerable_.

Letting out a sigh, Admiral Ross went over to the computer and quietly made an appointment to visit Admiral Grayson. He would use that appointment to get the information he wanted and he _wouldn’t_ leave her office until he got Garak and Bashir’s location even if he had to hurt her.


	5. Descent Into Chaos

**One Week Later**

**San Francisco, California**

“ _Jhanathan is due to call from Cardassia this morning and once I am done talking to him, I’ll come over to your office_ ,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok spoke on the screen, offering a smile to Admiral Grayson as the older woman sat behind her desk looking somber. “ _How are you feeling_?”

Admiral Grayson sighed, “I decided to discontinue Doctor Crusher’s treatment and she’s off with the task force right now, so she won’t even care,” she explained in a quiet voice. “I _know_ you _don’t want_ to hear it, Mary, but I _am_ going to die from _whatever_ this is and there’s _nothing_ that can be done about it. I wouldn’t survive any type of surgery even if that _would_ help.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok exhaled anxiously, her expression one of defeat, “ _Do you want me to skip the call with Jhanathan this morning and come straight to your office_?” she asked worriedly.

“No, because Jhanathan will _worry_ if you don’t take his call when it was scheduled for,” Admiral Grayson replied in a patient voice. “Besides, I have to meet with Admiral Ross this morning.”

The door chime suddenly rang and Admiral Grayson ended the call without saying goodbye simply because she was dying and very much over saying goodbye already, “Come,” she said.

As the door slid open, Admiral Grayson’s tired expression quickly changed to one of shock because it was Miles at the door and he was carrying a PADD and a thermos in his hands.

“Admiral, I was wondering if you had a moment?” Miles asked softly. “If not…”

Admiral Grayson sighed, “What can I do for you?” she asked quietly. “Come in.”

Nodding, Miles entered the office and walked over to the desk, “I’ve been meeting with Commander Dax daily since I was released from the hospital and she suggested I come ask you what kind of mental health programs are available at the penal colony,” he asked softly.

Admiral Grayson raised an eyebrow and she eyed the thermos, “What’s with the thermos?” she asked in a quiet voice. “You could have just sent a message from your home…”

“When I last saw you, you didn’t look well,” Miles explained, offering the thermos. “I mentioned it to Keiko and she made you some special herbal tea from some plants she grows in our apartment. I thought it might help you feel better and also serve as a bit of a Christmas…”

Admiral Grayson looked surprised, “Thank you,” she replied, taking it. “I _doubt_ it will help me feel better, but I appreciate the thought. As far as mental health programs at the penal colony goes, I’ll ask the officer that I’ll be assigning you to once I’m no longer around…”

Miles frowned, “I…you’re _leaving_?” he asked softly. “Will it be before or after I’m transferred?”

“I’m…I’m going to get to a point where I’ll be no longer able to perform my duties,” Admiral Grayson spoke in a quiet voice. “Doctor Grayson-Dramok is here to determine when that will be and then she’ll help me medically retire. I have the same illness as Doctor Bashir, but _worse_.”

Miles’s eyes widened in shock and his expression was one of horror, “How’d you get it?” he asked in a confused voice. “Did you have a kid or kids like Julian did?”

“I _survived_ when many of my crew on the Spokane didn’t,” Admiral Grayson explained in a quiet, somber voice, giving him a look. “My sister saved Doctor Bashir’s life and _somehow_ , the illness was given to her. He saved her from it, but we don’t know how. He…he’s sick…”

Miles frowned, “So it’s a biological weapon from Section 31?” he asked softly. “Like the Morphogenic Virus that nearly killed Odo and the Founders? How did Julian help your sister?”

“ _Nobody_ knows what it is, but Doctor Crusher had me on medicine very much like chemotherapy treatment for cancer and it was taking my ability to function away, so I threw the medicine out,” Admiral Grayson explained softly. “Doctor Bashir may still be sick, but the illness might be affecting him differently because he’s an Augment. Starfleet _doesn’t care_ about any of that, though. Admiral Ross has done a _good job_ of making him look bad and evil…”

A cold laugh filled the room, prompting Admiral Grayson to freeze and Chief O’Brien to turn around, “That’s _right_ , I _have_ ,” Admiral Ross spoke in a cold voice, his expression one of pure hatred as he entered the room and pulled a phaser from his pocket. “And you’ve done a _spectacular_ job of helping Bashir get away with _everything_ that an _Augment_ _shouldn’t_ …”

Miles immediately went around the desk in an attempt to protect Admiral Grayson and Admiral Ross looked amused, “ _Now_ , I _want_ you to tell me where you stashed that _filthy_ Augment and his _unique_ Cardassian husband,” Admiral Ross growled. “ _You’re_ the one who assigned them to a location after Doctor Bashir was released from Discovery Memorial in London. I _know_ it.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Admiral Grayson replied firmly, glaring at him as she reached for her combadge. “Starfleet will send you to the penal colony once I call Security…”

Admiral Ross smirked, “Ah, and they’ll discharge you dishonorably and make a spectacle of your pending death once I tell them about how you hacked the system to get Julian Bashir his mental health medication and had Miles O’Brien put on a psych hold to delay his jail sentence,” he replied in a mocking voice, smiling as Miles gave Admiral Grayson an astonished look.

“I still don’t know where Starfleet put Julian Bashir and Legate Garak,” Admiral Grayson spoke in a firm voice, her expression neutral as she fought with all her energy to lie through her teeth.

Miles, meanwhile, was staring at Admiral Grayson in shock because he had believed her to be cold and unfeeling. His opinion of her had now changed drastically now that he knew what she had done for both him and Julian even though it had probably broken many regulations.

Admiral Ross scoffed, “Even though you’re dying, you’re still going to keep your word to an Augment and to a Cardassian,” he spat coldly, glaring at her. “Even though you’re _dying_!”

“If you’re quite through, I’d like to ask you to either explain why you’re here or _get out_ ,” Admiral Grayson spoke in a stern voice. “I’ve got a _lot_ to get done today.”

Admiral Ross smirked before pocketing the phaser and pulling a strange looking communication device from his pocket, “Admiral Ross to the Trojan,” he spoke into it. “It’s _time_.”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“Ben, we should figure out what we’re going to do after Christmas,” Kasidy Yates-Sisko spoke in a quiet voice as she and Captain Sisko walked together across the frost covered lawn of the Residential Section of the Starfleet Properties with Rebecca in a hoverstroller. “Starfleet…they don’t seem to have much for you to do.”

Captain Sisko sighed, “I’m _supposed_ to be here, Kasidy; that’s all I know,” he replied softly, not wanting to share that he had been told by the Prophets to arrange for Julian’s parents to flee Earth for their safety. “If nothing else, we can celebrate Rebecca’s first Christmas together and we can spend time with Jake. He’s been working hard lately and grieving…I _know_ he’s grieving.”

“I just _wonder_ how _long_ it will be before the Prophets need you elsewhere,” Kasidy spoke sadly, her expression concerned as she looked at him. “I have a feeling there will come a time…”

Kasidy trailed off as she suddenly noticed Jake sitting in a small green space with a nervous looking Malko, both of them looking over a PADD, “What’s going on over there?” she asked softly, poking Ben to get his attention before gesturing to Jake and Malko.

Captain Sisko eyed Jake and Malko uncertainly, watching the two of them for several moments before he walked over to them, “Jake, Officer Marratt, hello,” he spoke in a calm voice.

Jake and Officer Marratt looked up from the PADD, “Your son was teaching me how to compose a _letter_ ,” Officer Marratt spoke nervously. “I…I am not educated in the art.”

“A letter?” Captain Sisko asked in a curious voice, raising an eyebrow. “A letter to whom?”

Officer Marratt sighed, “Captain Staveli,” he replied softly. “I believe it is called a _love letter_ , but Cardassians call it a Declaration of Intent. I wish to _court her_ if she will give her permission because I have developed romantic feelings for her. If she agrees, I can petition the Castellan…”

“Ben!” Kasidy suddenly exclaimed, her eyes wide as she suddenly noticed ship uncloak out of the corner of her eye. “There’s a ship over near the Command offices! Is there supposed to be?”

Captain Sisko turned and Jake immediately got his camera out and began using it to take pictures and record at the same time, “Sisko to all available personnel!” Captain Sisko shouted as he tapped the combadge on the chest of his civilian clothes. “Emergency at Command!”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Alarms began to blare both in and outside of Admiral Grayson's office and Miles inched closer to Admiral Grayson in an effort to protect her because she was vulnerable, frowning at Admiral Ross and the masked intruders who had beamed into the office, “She _refuses_ to tell us where Bashir and Garak are,” Admiral Ross growled in a cold voice. “And I _hadn’t_ counted on O’Brien…”

“Ooh, Gul Marak would _love_ to meet the _killer_ _of Setlik Three_ ,” one of the masked intruders growled. “Bring him with us and we’ll _make_ him work _with_ us to get the information…”

Miles scoffed, “I’m _not_ going to help _you_ ,” he snapped. “And _enough_ about my past, all right?”

“We _have_ to _do something_ ,” another masked intruder hissed. “Starfleet’s sounded the alarm!”

Noise suddenly filled the corridor, “Take them both and gas the office!” Admiral Ross shouted.

As two Starfleet Security officers entered the room, one of the hooded figures threw a metallic ball towards the door and the room quickly filled with a fog. All of a sudden, Miles began to feel sleepy and at the same time, he felt Admiral Grayson huddle up against him, clearly scared.

“It’s okay,” Miles spoke in a groggy voice, slipping a protective arm around her. “It’s… _okay_.”

The sound of weapons fire was the last thing Miles heard before he totally lost consciousness.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Cardassia**

_“…Dwaw? Ee Dwaw?”_

_“Yes, I am drawing. I am drawing some pretty gardens for the town square. Would you like to see?”_

The sound of cooing suddenly filled Julian’s ears, prompting him to wake. He frowned when he realized that he was laying on the couch in the family room with pillows behind his back and a warm blanket covering his body. He could see Elim working at his desk nearby with Ricky on his lap and he could also hear his parents and Delyn talking nearby while Dax was cooing away.

Sighing tiredly, Julian slowly sat up, “Elim, what time is it?” he asked groggily, frowning.

Elim looked over at him, “Delyn is teaching your mother how to make Cardassian food for lunch and your father’s in the kitchen watching Dax and also working on architectural ideas,” he explained calmly. “You got tired and fell asleep on the couch not long after breakfast.”

“ _Lunch_?” Julian replied groggily. “I only meant to rest a _little_ before I took my parents down to the Central Office to get them their temporary resident permits. Do you think it’s still open?”

Elim sighed, “Are you _sure_ you’re feeling up to it?” he asked softly. “I can ask Galenna…”

“I can manage,” Julian replied as he got up off the couch, revealing the simple tunic and dark pants he had put on before breakfast. “One thing, though, could you keep the children here? It’s _quite cold_ outside and my parents will be _quite enough_ for me to manage without…”

Elim nodded, “Mother, Father, we need to go to the Central Office!” Julian called out, frowning when he realized his voice was somewhat weak. “Elim, did you need me to pick up anything?”

“Just take it easy, please,” Elim spoke calmly, giving him a worried look. “I _know_ you’ve been _very_ tired lately and Galen’s been working on your medicine, but it’s not yet ready…”

Julian sighed, “I’m 37 years old, Elim, and I feel so much _older_ ,” he admitted quietly, his expression somber as he gazed at his husband. “I’ve _never_ fully recovered from the camp…”

A somber expression filled Elim’s face and he quickly set his work on the desk before setting Ricky on the floor before getting up. Julian silently made his way into the master bedroom and put a cardigan on over his tunic and replaced his slipper boots with thick socks and warm boots.

Almost immediately, pricks of arthritis hit his feet, but he ignored them and quickly moved into the bathroom to straighten his hair. Unknown to him, Elim was in the kitchen talking to everyone and gently warning Richard and Amsha to not let Julian overdo it during their trip to the Central Office that day. Delyn was still cooking while also calling a skimmer for them.

Once Julian was satisfied with his hair, he set the brush aside and got his wallet, ID card, and wedding ring from the bedroom before moving to the front door for his winter cloak. Ricky immediately noticed him putting his coat on and crawled over, “Go?” he asked, tugging it.

“No, you’re not going because it’s too cold and Daddy Elim wants to show you more of his drawings,” Julian replied in a patient voice, smiling at him. “Will you be good for him?”

Ricky nodded and Julian sighed, forcing a calm expression on his face as his parents came into view with his father carrying a box of their necessary documents, “Delyn called a skimmer for us so we wouldn’t have to walk in the cold,” Richard spoke calmly. “It should be outside.”

Julian nodded, trying not to think of why Elim had thought it necessary to call a skimmer for such a simple occasion when such vehicles were in high demand during the winter. He, however, didn’t say anything and went outside with his parents in silence. A skimmer was indeed outside and the three boarded without speaking to each other about why it was there.

“Central Office, please,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice, gazing at the driver nervously.

Without any hesitation, the driver began working the controls and in less than half an hour, the skimmer was in front of the Central Office. Julian helped his mother from the skimmer and his father got off alone and instead of leaving immediately, the skimmer powered down.

“I will _wait_ until you are done,” the driver spoke before Julian could send them away.

Nodding, Julian silently escorted his parents inside and was surprised to see Officer Galenna waiting for them at the front desk, “Legate Garak called and said you would be coming, Doctor Bashir-Garak,” she spoke in a calm voice. “He said your parents needed resident permits?”

“They’ll be staying on Cardassia indefinitely and they need the permits so they can access services available to residents, yes,” Julian replied softly. “They have their documents.”

Galenna nodded and swiftly produced two tablets, which she handed to Amsha, “Fill these out,” she spoke calmly before gesturing to a worn couch. “You can sit over there to do it.”

As Richard and Amsha took the tablets away, Julian leaned into the desk, “Officer Galenna, I was wondering if I could have access to the Security Archives so I could read the files Elim translated about the experiments I endured on Earth?” he asked softly. “He hasn’t told me _anything_ and I feel like he’s _hiding_ something. His behavior’s been very… _unusual_ lately.”

Galenna nodded “You have the right to read them if you wish,” she replied softly. “Come.”

A feeling of unease filled Julian as he followed Galenna into the area of the Central Office where the Archives were kept, “Legate Garak stored his translations here,” she explained, stopping in front of a large computer. “He translated everything from Dominion script into Federation Standard _and_ Kardasi. Both sets of translations are stored and he’s been protective of them.”

Nodding, Julian took a seat at the computer and silently translated the controls before he accessed Elim’s translations. He was so engrossed in reading that he didn’t notice that Galenna had moved into the shadows to watch him because she was worried about how unwell he looked and she knew Elim would be _mad_ if he got sick unexpectedly and was left unattended.

Julian frowned as information suddenly appeared on the screen and he stared at it.

_Observation Log: Dr. Girani_

_Stardate: Summer 2376 Location: Central Bureau of Rehabilitation - Stockholm, Eurasia-NE_

_Subject’s name is Julian Bashir, former Starfleet Lieutenant and Chief Medical Officer of Deep Space Nine. I’ve been under orders to observe Doctor Bashir’s physical and mental health ever since Doctor Grayson transferred off the station because it’s clear that his time in the Dominion internment camp left long-term effects. Starfleet wants every bit of data on the disease he developed after becoming pregnant and his pregnancy and I am going to provide it. The man is an Augment and he was allowed to stay in the service even though he shouldn’t be allowed. Admiral Ross ordered the creation of a new pregnancy using the same Dominion methods that created Ricky Bashir even though it would again manifest the same disease…_

Julian froze briefly, but quickly composed himself and continued to read Dr. Girani’s logs.

_Observation Log: Doctor Girani_

_Stardate: September 2376 Location: Central Bureau of Rehabilitation - Stockholm, Eurasia-NE_

_Doctor Bashir’s pregnancy is progressing nicely, but Admiral Ross has ordered acceleration drugs to be administered and I worry about the effects. Signs of the disease’s return are already manifesting themselves in both Doctor Bashir’s body and cognitive functions. He is barely able to speak, move, stay awake, or recognize me when I take him his food portions. He also hallucinates and talks to himself and people who I understand to be long dead. I fear that even if this pregnancy survives, the disease might eventually kill Doctor Bashir…_

A thought suddenly popped into Julian’s head. Had he been sick when he had been stabbed and thrown through the window at Quark’s? If he had, it would certainly explain why he had experienced such an elaborate dream. Hallucinations that resembled reality seemed to be part of the illness Dr. Girani was talking about and he recalled hallucinating Jadzia during the time he had spent in the cell in Sweden. His being sick would also explain the chronic fatigue he felt now. _Did Elim know he was sick? Elim’s behavior had been awfully suspect lately. He must._

_“Julian…Julian, your help will be needed….Julian…I need to talk to you.”_

_Captain Sisko?_ Julian thought, freezing at the sound of his former commanding officer’s voice.

Galenna frowned at seeing Julian go motionless, “Doctor?” she asked softly, inching closer to him because he wasn’t responding to her voice. “Officer Galenna to Central Hospital…!”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

_“Julian.”_

_Julian opened his eyes and found himself standing alone and surrounded by white. He felt light._

_“Julian. We need to speak.”_

_Julian turned towards the familiar voice and frowned when he saw Captain Sisko standing not too far away from him, “Captain?” he asked softly, frowning. “What am I doing here?”_

_“Your help…who you are…what you are…it will soon be needed,” Captain Sisko spoke softly._

_Julian paused, “Am I going to die?” he asked in a confused voice. “I have a family…I can’t die…”_

_“No, but you’ll struggle,” Captain Sisko replied softly. “Life will not be easy for you, Julian. You accepted that when you accepted Ricky and Dax into your life and the burden that came with what the Dominion, Doctor Girani, Admiral Ross did to you. When I bestowed upon you the blessing, however, I also promised you that you would never be alone in your struggles. You shall have help in dealing with all that life hands you. That promise will hold true.”_

_Julian’s expression was filled with concern, “And what do you mean that I will soon be needed?” he asked softly. “I left Earth because people would rather see me dead than…”_

_“That will soon change…” Captain Sisko replied as he vanished. “You will soon be called on…”_

_Julian frowned as the fog began to thicken and the world around him began to grow dark._

“Jules?” Julian heard a concerned voice speak. “Julian…son, can you hear me? Julian, it’s Dad.”

Julian blinked and exhaled shakily before gazing at his father, “Hi,” he spoke softly. “What…?”

“You were unresponsive for nearly 20 minutes,” Galenna’s voice spoke. “I called Central Hospital and Doctor Parmak came over immediately. He’s here to look you over…”

Julian nodded and turned back to the computer, “I logged you out,” Galenna spoke calmly.

Sighing, Julian massaged his forehead and felt himself sigh sleepily, “ _God_ , Julian, you _scared_ us,” Richard spoke in a concerned voice, frowning at him as Kelas approached. “Can you stand?”

“I’m actually feeling a bit weak and cloudy,” Julian admitted softly. “I’m _not sure_ if I _can_ stand.”

Kelas nodded, “What medics we have are out doing rounds, but I can take you to the hospital if you wish,” he spoke softly, his expression concerned. “What happened sounds like a seizure.”

“I…I think I’d _rather_ just _go home_ and _rest_ ,” Julian spoke quietly. “Once I collect myself.”

Kelas sighed and looked up from Julian before speaking Kardasi to someone Julian couldn’t see, “ _Yes_ , I _know_ my husband is very _strong-willed_ and _stubborn_ ,” Julian suddenly heard Elim say.

Julian frowned as Elim came into view and crouched beside him, “Your mother is finishing up the paperwork with Galenna and we can go home, but I _do think_ you should take Kelas’s advice and go to the hospital,” Elim spoke in a worried voice. “What were you even doing back here?”

“Learning that I’m not well,” Julian replied, sighing as he gazed sadly at Elim. “Did you know?”

Richard and Kelas frowned, but Elim sighed, “ _Julian_ …I _still_ love you,” he said. “ _Unconditionally_.”

“Will you tell me more?” Julian asked softly, his expression unchanging. “I _need_ to know.”

Elim nodded, taking Julian’s hands in his own, “I _will_ , but _not today_ and _not in public_ ,” he replied softly. “You _obviously_ need _rest_ and I can show you the files in the privacy of our home.”

Suddenly, Julian felt himself sink forward into Elim’s arms, exhausted, “ _Tired_ ,” he said softly.

Within seconds, Julian felt himself being lifted up and he heard Elim and Kelas conversing in Kardasi. Exhaustion, however, won out and Julian buried himself in Elim’s body warmth.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“…Dada?”

“Ricky, your Daddy is _very, very_ tired and needs to rest. Now, you may stay with him if you would like, but you _must_ be quiet. I _know_ you get excited easily, so if you don’t… _oh_ …”

Julian suddenly felt a tiny hand touch his nose and he opened his eyes to see Ricky in front of him, gently touching his face, “ _Hey_ ,” he spoke in a faint voice. “What are you doing here?”

It was then that Julian realized he was laying on something soft and familiar. He frowned when he saw Elim sit on the bed, “How long was I asleep?” he asked softly. “You were just so warm.”

“Oh, I told Galenna to beam us home,” Elim spoke simply. “Your parents have their permits and they wanted to use the rest of the business day to go explore the market. I gave them money.”

Julian sighed tiredly, “And Delyn is looking after Dax in the kitchen,” Elim spoke calmly. “I am going to take Ricky into the kitchen and she will get both of them lunch. I will bring our lunch in here and we will eat together like a married couple should. I just want you to rest today.”

Ricky waved as Elim lifted him from the bed and carried him from the bedroom, but Julian found himself too weak to respond. Julian’s mind was still very much on his encounter with Sisko and what Sisko had told him. _What did_ Sisko mean by what he had said and what would it mean for his marriage and for his family if he had to bear an _illness_ for the rest of his life?

Exhaling softly, Julian sat up and quickly located Kukulaka, “I…I _don’t know_ what to do, old friend,” he spoke in a quiet voice, gently stroking his bear. “How did I let things get so _bad_?”

Silence filled the air, “You didn’t _let_ things get so bad, Julian,” Elim’s voice suddenly spoke.

Julian looked up from Kukulaka to see Elim standing in the doorway of holding a tray that contained several wraps along with mugs of steaming liquid, “Things got bad because individuals chose to hurt you and keep hurting you even though they knew it was wrong,” Elim spoke in a firm voice. “Delyn made some grain wraps and some red leaf tea today. I told your parents to put in for groceries while they were out. Don’t be surprised if they fuss over you.”

“When…when I was at the archive, Sisko came to me and spoke to me,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice, his expression tired. “He said my help…who I was, what I was…it would soon be needed.”

Elim’s eyes widened as he carried the tray over to the bed and promptly sat down, “ _Sisko_?” he asked in a cynical, quiet voice, his expression horrified. “Why would he come to you now?”

“I _don’t_ know,” Julian replied softly. “I was just told life wouldn’t be easy and that I accepted that when I accepted Ricky, Dax, and the burden that came with what the Dominion, Doctor Girani, and Admiral Ross did to me. He said I will have _help_ in dealing with it all, but…”

Elim scoffed, “Sisko is _not_ here and _you_ are _not_ a _burden_ ,” he spoke coldly. “How _dare_ he…”

Julian sighed and looked down at the bed, prompting Elim to sigh, “What we need to do is _eat_ ,” he spoke in a quiet voice. “After that, I think I’ll take the rest of the day off of work so we and our sons can rest together. I can read and we can all just lay here. How does that sound?”

“I might sleep after lunch,” Julian spoke softly. “Elim…what if I’m supposed to _die_?”

Elim’s expression suddenly turned sour, “I will _kill_ Benjamin Sisko and wreak havoc on the Prophets very existence before I allow them or _anyone_ to take you away from me again,” he spoke in a dark voice before exhaling and picking up a wrap. “Are you able to eat?”

“I’ll try,” Julian spoke softly, gingerly picking up a wheat wrap from the tray even though he had no appetite at the moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever had these before. What kind of wheat is it?”

Elim bit into his wrap, “Winter wheat,” he replied calmly. “The first of the cold harvest.”

Julian silently began to eat and began to feel full when only about half of the wrap was gone. As much as he wanted to finish, he _couldn’t_. He couldn’t even eat _one_ wrap and it _bothered_ him.

“I…I _can’t_ eat anymore,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice, his eyes brimming with tears. “I’m _sorry_.”

Elim quickly finished the wrap he had and then took the half-finished wrap from Julian’s hand, “I’ll store it with the rest of the wraps in case you get hungry later,” he spoke calmly.

Nodding, Julian silently took hold of Kukulaka and gazed downward because he was truly embarrassed and ashamed that he couldn’t finish a simple meal. He used to be able to eat endlessly and even in Sweden, he had eaten multiple times a day because Dr. Girani had made him and wouldn’t let him alone until he finished each portion. He would be _punished_ …

“Leave it here,” Julian spoke shakily, not looking up. “I…I…I don’t want to be punished.”

Elim froze, his hand dropping the wrap to the tray in shock, “ _Punished_?” he asked quietly.

Julian, however, said nothing and Elim suddenly felt worried, “My dear doctor, what are you seeing right now?” Elim asked softly, frowning. “What are you seeing around you?”

“The cell…and the facility…Doctor Girani…making me eat everything whether I wanted to or not,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice, closing his eyes. “Hallucinations…are a symptom. I remembered hallucinating you and Cardassia back when I was on Deep Space Nine. Remember I had that dream I told you about? I wonder if I was sick the whole time and didn’t know it?”

Elim took the tray from the bed and set it on the dresser before returning to the bed, “Kelas is going to do some research and see if there isn’t a herb or some sort of medicine that can help you,” he spoke softly. “That’s what he and I were discussing at the Archive in our language.”

“Keiko’s a _botanist_ and you and her are coordinating about Cardassian plants, aren’t you?” Julian asked softly, frowning at Elim. “Without telling her I’m sick, you could ask _her_ about…”

Elim nodded, “I’ll slip that into the next message I send to Earth,” he replied calmly.

Sighing, Julian laid back and held Kukulaka close, “I’m _scared_ ,” he spoke softly. “And tired.”

Elim silently crawled over to his side of the bed and gently snaked an arm around Julian, helping him to lie down, “Delyn can entertain the children for a while,” he spoke soothingly, gently grabbing the blankets and covering them both up. “You just sleep in my arms and feel safe.”

The warmth of the blankets and Elim's body, plus exhaustion, quickly pulled Julian into a deep sleep.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

**San Francisco, Earth**

“Ben?” Captain Sisko heard Kasidy ask softly. “Starfleet Command wants to speak with you.”

Captain Sisko sighed, his gaze not leaving the window even though he knew Starfleet’s call was important. He had just barely been in communication with Julian and knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Julian was on Cardassia and unwell. Garak and Julian’s parents were also there, but it was _Julian_ he had needed to speak to. What was to come could not be stopped, according to the Prophets, but they had told him to speak with Julian anyway. This, he had done.

“… _I’m standing outside of Starfleet Command where, just two hours ago, an unknown group led by Admiral William Ross kidnapped Admiral Martha Grayson of Command and Lieutenant Miles Edward O’Brien of Starfleet Academy_ ,” Jake’s voice over the vid feed suddenly filled the air. “ _According to_ …”

Captain Sisko sighed. He had hurried towards the Command Building after calling for help and had arrived just in time to see the unknown ship blast a hole in the building. Unfortunately for him, that hadn’t been all they had done; he had also seen Admiral Grayson and Miles O’Brien be beamed away. After the attack, he had given a statement to Security and returned home.

At that point, the Prophets had come to him and Benjamin had originally thought that they were going to tell him how to find Miles and Admiral Grayson, but they had instead directed him to Julian. And now, Starfleet was in crisis because a rogue officer had created chaos.

“…Ben?” Kasidy’s voice repeated anxiously. “President Zife wants to speak to you urgently.”

Swallowing hard, Captain Sisko moved away from the window and over to the communications terminal where Kasidy was already waiting with Rebecca in her arms, “ _Captain Sisko, we’d like you to lead the investigation into the disappearance of Admiral Grayson and Lieutenant O’Brien_ ,” President Zife spoke in an official tone. “Meaning the Federation Council and I.”

“Do you have any idea who could have taken them and why?” Captain Sisko asked softly.

President Zife sighed, “ _You’ll be sent all the evidence Starfleet Security was able to collect_ ,” she explained in a quiet voice. “ _Doctor Grayson-Dramok also wants to know what happened, but we don’t know if her Cardassian lapdog was involved yet, so we can’t tell her. She’s on her way to you now_ …”

The door chime suddenly sounded and the screen went black, as President Zife didn’t want Dr. Grayson-Dramok to know anything pertaining to Starfleet’s investigation. Captain Sisko, however, personally found it _ridiculous_ to exclude the doctor from an investigation into her own sister’s disappearance.

“Come in,” Captain Sisko spoke quietly, gazing towards the door. “Kasidy, can you make something?”

Kasidy nodded as the door slid open and Dr. Grayson-Dramok came into the apartment looking highly distressed, “Starfleet…thinks it best that I _refrain_ from being involved in the investigation,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok spoke in a quiet voice, sighing. “They’ve also warned Mrs. O’Brien to _not_ get involved.”

“It’s because they think _I_ did it,” Officer Marratt spoke testily as he came into the apartment sporting bruises and cuts on his scales and rips on his clothes. “You’ll have to _excuse_ my appearance. I was on my way to deliver my letter to Captain Staveli when I was _detained_ and escorted to Starfleet Security…”

Captain Sisko frowned, but said nothing, “They _did_ allow me to contact Lady Marratt, as I am under ambassadorial protection, but the damage had already been done by the time they did,” Officer Marratt spoke in an annoyed voice, sighing. “If it were not for the crisis, I would request we return to Cardassia.”

“I’ve been placed in charge of the investigation,” Captain Sisko explained in a somber voice.

Officer Marratt nodded, “They _expect_ you to find _nothing_ ,” he reasoned softly. “And you _won’t_ … _here_.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok frowned at her bodyguard, as did Captain Sisko, “I _can’t_ remember all that I’ve been through before and during the Dominion War, but I’m _sure_ there are those who can,” Officer Marratt spoke in a quiet voice, his expression troubled. “They may have the answers that you seek.”

“I need to review the evidence first,” Captain Sisko replied even though he realized that the reason for his visit to Julian was now clear. “Besides, you would do best to lie low for the next little while.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok sighed, “Officer Marratt is under _my_ command, not Starfleet’s and everyone would do well to remember that,” she spoke in a stern voice. “I will contact the Castellan and inform him of what has happened. Since Starfleet has unlawfully detained and interrogated a Cardassian…”

Kasidy looked at Dr. Grayson-Dramok questioningly, “Jhanathan may recall his ambassador and their security at any time he feels they are in danger,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok explained in a quiet voice. “Once I explain what has happened, we may be asked to come home and be asked to find a way home…if we…”

“If your husband feels it necessary to ask you and Officer Marratt to return to Cardassia, I can take you there,” Kasidy offered softly, offering a smile. “Officer Marratt, if you want to ask Captain Staveli…”

Officer Marratt sighed, “Lady Dramok, I wish to _court_ Captain Staveli,” he stated. “I need _permission_.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok looked amused, “I will bring it up with the Castellan when I call him about the incident involving Lieutenant O’Brien and Admiral Grayson,” she replied softly. “For now, though…”

“I think it’s _best_ you both get your things and stay with us for the time being,” Kasidy spoke worriedly.

Dr. Grayson-Dramok nodded, her expression somber, “I agree,” she replied in a quiet voice, sighing.

“I’ll help you to get your things,” Captain Sisko offered. “Officer Marratt should stay _here_.”

Kasidy sighed, “I’ll get the first aid kit and help Officer Marratt while you’re both gone,” she offered.


End file.
